perfetcLite

2007-02-23T14:50:00.000+08:00

-[ Viva la Christina ]-

Old school rocks!

Stunning!

2007-02-18T15:37:00.000+08:00

Click to Play!

Click to Play!

2007-02-17T18:44:00.000+08:00

Click to Play!

2007-02-17T18:21:00.001+08:00

Click to Play!

2007-02-14T15:38:00.000+08:00

Valentine's Day!

I feel so blessed to be alive. It's Valentine's yo peepleo(with the black accent, No not ascend shuzhen!)! Anyways, I dont know what it is but SOME people just die on this day. They get so emotional and so desperate much like the vigilantes i meet in the game Renewal, so dead and tearful.

They get depressed over shut-the-hell-up things like being without dates on V-day, being unattached and stuff. aiyo, so loveydovey, be realistic, Valentine's day is more than that.

Haiyo, frankly speaking I have been unattached for all my 19 years during Valentine's day. And still it's very happy for me every year! During schooling era, in S19 and Secondary times, friends hand out handmade gifts to everyone they think should be loved. This is a festival of Love, Love of all forms.

Take the day to tell your mum you love her, wish your siblings well for today! Tell your friends you love them! Dont be shy. Dont wait till it's too late. =) I love you yunjiecrazytoserve ,kentypanty, cheng-raye-gay ,denisemadwomansimin, huidabianting, J-botak-S, Uglyface-pokemon, Tongmuscleheadloong, Teckprimaryschoolkidoon, Aliciayinyantwins, Jinyi, nickynacky, Sussanlaughatpooruglypeoplemariam, PANGcrazy4wjyuhui, itchyneversleepatnight547, Eileenhahamot, Sereneangrymanager, lesterbonkerprawnsoh, yipopandmusicxin, juneywithacrazyguitardaughtertay, jacqmadhouse, calistasimbosoh, keljackassvin, andrewlaughinglikenuts, KenalwaysmybuddyHo, cherchuan, shaoyong, ,justingounucaiJJ, peibignehnehli, mauiauntieandhusband, my Papa, my mama, my sister my korkor and all those poor souls that the lousy me failed to name, not because u are not important. but i am lazy. =P

I am happy every valentine's, to know im blessed with love from my dear friends and family. Be blessed, my haters, for today is a day for love. Yeah, i'm heading out to Settle's Cafe.. YEAH!! hahahs.. bye peeps.

Love is in the air! I love ya'll.

2007-02-14T13:28:00.000+08:00

-[ Only 49 and it's so great! ]-

I didnt know at the age of 49, The Grammies could be so Wowowowowow! I don't know what to expect at the 50th ceremony? Probably it would really take my breathe. =P.

Anyway, I'm posting up some of the more popular and really showstopping acts.

Shakira ft. Wclef- Hips Don't Lie
=Need I say more? Although I would say, as I always do, that this song lacks climax and gets mundane with the repeating-and-repeating chorus, it is a perfect song for live performance and she will SHOW you why? It's really, really showstopping!

Justin Timberlake with the best song he has ever written(which he claims and many agreed)- What goes around... (comes around)
=It's really a great song, vocally and emotionally touching. But it really wrecks many minds to think whether he is playing the piano that night.? Oh well, the song is too overwhelming for asses to care.

Beyonce- Listen
=A soundtrack taken off her soon-to-be hit movie, Dreamgirls. Haunting lyrics and beyonce did a technically wonderful job as many would agree. But fans of beyonce would have to agree that it is not a great performance. She sounded tired, prolly she's really sick and the end was really a bloop. =X Still, it's a great song and worth a watch.

In this IT dominated era, Grammys has or have been moving with time! The mamanagent held a online competition/poll for viewers to send in auditions and have their Grammy moment. And boy, you can hear Robyn Troup sing like a pro. She can command the stage! Well, though I do reckon she has to work on her facial expression-s. A bit dead. Esp in the "auditions"

Christina Aguilera- It's a Man's,Man's, Man's world.
You know it amazes how some people STILL fail to realise what a diva is. It's about embracing your strengths and yet not conceal your flaws. It's about a woman who's not afraid to stand up for herself. It's about honouring womanhood. Some think Christina overdoes it and yell into the mic unneccessary. Face the fact. This is her, and she will blow you out. -)

Well that's about it. Didnt post up Carrie Underwood's performance, because i think it still lack something. hmms. Anyway, really spend 30 minutes of your time and look at the videos, after Life's short. Enjoy music!

2007-02-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe my eyes.

I'm so dead.

Am I really seeing my fate?

Singapore-Cambridge A Levels Examination

Name: Beh xxx xxxx Willy

NRIC:S88XXX70C

-----------------------------

General Paper D7

Mathematics C

Physics E

Chemistry D

Chinese E8

----------------------------

How? Even if I want to graze the grass and share the pasture(s) with the cow, they would laugh their udders off at my stupidity. I cannot go anywhere! No universities would accept me for the janitor's position even.

SO DEAD!

Mama said it's alright I've given my best and that I shouldn't brood over it. Come next week I'll be working as a office boy and thats going to be the case for sometime, i guess. No future!

Nothing! Nothing! 14 years of education and I've wasted it all. =)

I bet you cant imagine the drowning amount of sweat I bore just dreaming of this. What a nightmare! The only reason why I woke up is because i check the results again and saw the E8 for Chinese. Thank goodness I've gotten my Chinese paper's results. If not, I think I'll still be stuck in that crazy dream. I was sweating like hell.

Nothing can be worse than embracing a night's rest with a nightmare. Unless I have two more in the 9hours I laid in my bed, two third of the time spent sweating and worrying. I think I worked my brain too hard thinking of crazy stuff.

The second dream was actually about the End of the World. And practically it was the end. It was hell breaking lose. There was no balance in the environment. Venomous snakes roamed the cities and fear enguffed everyone. I was running through the streets with someone(I dont know who), for what reasons i dont know. But we were like the prey for the hunger-driven vipers. Striking at every opportunity, and then "recoiling" themselves and preparing to spring and sink their fangs into both of us. The only reason it was freaking nerve-wrecking is because I had a very hard time dodging them, and they keep coming from all over.

Bet if Huitin were in my shoes, she would have slashed her own throat. LoL. Maybe I'm watching too much tv, in particular wildlife documentaries like Jeff Corwin's Unleashed. Gee.. I have a boring life! Oh well, I was once again shocked to awareness thanks to my 6.00am alarm. I have this daily bet with PeiLi to see who will wake up first.

I lost this time.

The time was 6.22am when my eyes were ajar and she has already sent her winning message claiming victory.

"abracadabra"

*chants chants* How I wish I have some magic to make her late for school. =D Obviously I dropped back to slumber land after some cursing. But the thing is, this time I'm teleported to ancient China. Where emporers pit their armies against each other and concubine thrives to win(Too much Channel U drama!! but I swear I havent watch that show for about a week already, dont know why still dreaming of it).

What's so "gothika" was that I was actually from the future. And I'm in the era where the infamous(no, not pido) Emperor Qin rule his evil empire.Apparently I told him his throne will not always be in his hands, and at the same time in my hands was a book of Ancient China history. Being such a authoratative person, he wanted to know of his becoming. Since they couldn't read modern Chinese characters, they have to keep me alive as a translator. I was sort of an advisor, I guess. Fightings along the outskirts were not uncommon and I was deemed to be the person with the answers. Tensed and pushed up to the war, I could not complain but comply.

I finally woke up due to extreme distress i think. hahas. What a crazy night.

This is one of the reason why I am so afraid of my sub conscious. Everytime it takes over, mad things happen and I dont mean dreams only. Someone could seriously get hurt someday(I'm not mentally ill, dont worry.). My subconscious is my heart, my conscious is my mind. One's evil, the other's morally upright. Which is which?

Make a guess.

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day in Advanced to Jake Beh Jun Ming or is it 8?. LoL. I'm just afraid you will be too busy to read anything here on the actual day. Maybe I'll be too busy that day too. LAM(Laugh At Myself)!

2007-02-02T21:49:00.000+08:00

Give me a little more time. I'll be back with more.
I was really worn out. I think I'm getting my strength back.
I'm proposing two more weeks and after Chinese New Year.

2006-11-27T10:42:00.000+08:00

-[ pink of health ]-

Exams crawled to an end finally and my health is picking up. Guess what, I go to bed much much earlier(11-1am) than in the past(3-5am)! Wakes up early in the morning having the feeling of the natural cool breeze on your face makes my day already.

In the past when I wake up in the afternoon, I've the stupid instinct as if I've wasted half of the day, some psychology obstacle I assume. And right now, I cant sleep past 8hours on average, seems very great to me!

Right now waiting for job, waiting for red to be ready to club, waiting for physical wounds heal! =D Very busy very busy!

2006-11-23T22:04:00.000+08:00

-[ Prelude ]-

I'm feeling the energy within me, waiting to be unleash.

But darling, Let me hug you.

I cant even recognise myself, is this me?

Preview of the metamorphorsis?

Pig out!

NiokNiok!

2006-11-23T21:24:00.000+08:00

-[ New Direction ]-

Was rather aimless when I just finished A's. Now, I'm going crazy with so many tasks to complete. Aiming to attain my motorcycle licence by December which is why I'm packing the lessons very close to each other right now, while my motorcar first Basic Theory Test takes place in January on the 8th.

Tomorrow my hair will be undergoing revamp. Hope things go well, it'd better be so! If not the stylist is going to die for her crime. I must make sure things are right first before I let her touch it.

WorkWork, Dad has been trying to rope me in to work for him, $60/day, but I'm too interested. Looking for sales job. Preferably clothing sales, or cashier for food chain! Wee~ Hopefully I'll start work by January.

Prom will be near the end of December. Not really in the mood to shop for the attire yet. Want something me, something special. Hope I can do it. =)

I bless me.

2006-11-23T21:08:00.000+08:00

-[ One ]-

perfetcLite.blogspot is one!(whispers: who cares anyway? no one view your blog anyway)

hmm? I thought I heard some sniggerings. LoL

Oh well, one full year of blogging, though not daily updates like some freaks who refer blogging as a job. And unlike desperados who enjoy the glamour and honour of having netizens view their blog, erms, I'm just very happy to have a place to store my memories. I dont wanna die, remembering nothing.

It's so weird to blog out your emotions out "on" the "public", even more so when you arent truly anon. That's why when you read other's blogs, most of the time, the entries are filled with angst and teenage rebellion(though some are really not teenagers already, they just wanna remain childish and they shall remain anon).

Rarely would you read of someone really covering all of their emotions in their entries. hmm.. the kind of blogging i still hate most is: I wokee uup today, veriie tiireed nnor. Then I weent too schooool, noothiing happeeened. aiyaa, veriie tiireed le, goodniight. Must tagg me hor!

**** yourself. LoL. Dont ask me why I'm doing all the bitching about others, just wanna shout out. wee~

No surprise sometimes I think whether anyone even read my blog, because the counter has always been rather faulty(registering all visits when it should register only unique visitors), and the tag board has been dead. Then again, I tell myself that even if only one person reads it, and it changed him, it's worth it. I do not have the strength to influence the world like some famous bloggers or celebrities are. But if I can help just one, I'm already very glad.

Blogging is fun. I dont like to explain things, so things i blog here often seems weird and most wouldnt understand what the toot I'm actually referring to. What I would say to you is, dont take the direct approach too serious. Comprehend what I'm trying to say generally, it may not apply to you, but you might learn something new, or something about me. =)

Happy Birthday, perfetcLite.blogspot

Arms wide open, words unspoken, the rest is still unwritten.

Write me.

2006-11-21T01:17:00.000+08:00

-[ Post-Exams Blues ]-

It s***s when you finished your exams and you are left hanging in the air, when you cant work right now because of your travel plans, when you were so frantically squeezing in the last bit of whatever subject you were studying into your brain prior to the paper, when you have all the time but too many things you wanna accomplished that you end up doing none. Living a day at a time.

Then again, with all the time in the world currently, I tend to think more, maybe too much. Probably to the point that I became unsatisfied with many things, that I realised things should not be this way.

It's hard, when things became a habit and you finally realised you can't take it. I can change myself, but I changed others.

Ever since secondary school days, I've been put through quite a lot till I accepted change as a continual progression of my body and soul. But then I realised that most people around me dont like changes, prefers constants. That's when clashes arise, and to me, I dont like quarrels, so I would most of the time choose to compromise. Without doubt, as time passes, I realised I've lost myself(cliche, ya blah blah) and I dont know what I'm doing.

But I gotta say there's a limit.

I've gotta be me.

2006-11-19T23:56:00.000+08:00

-[ Hmms ]-

Examinations have finally come to a permernant halt. The only difference from when I finished the last paper two years back when I was sitting for the GCE 'O' Levels, was that i wasn't feeling the uncontrolled happiness and relief from all the stress and restrains.

There probably are some reasons to explain this phenomenon that many of my peers have experienced.

Simply/Firstly, back then, even if were to do badly, we know we have the Polytechnics to fall back on no matter what. But right now, it's a band-wagon jumping competition and to make it, you have to jump from this one that you are currently on(Junior College), to the destined one(University for most). It's not easy and if you fail, goodbye. Especially when our batch of students was from the year of large scale baby boom(52000 babies were born in Singapore in 1988). That would mean a larger number of students are in JCs and therefore, more stiff competition for the little space the University has to offer.

Either you retake the exams A YEAR LATER, or register to another institution which means it will take another couple of years again.

Sad to say, we wouldnt get to know how well we really do and what we eventually get in our results slip are relative to how other students across the island had performed in the same GCE 'A' level paper. With all the discrimination of studying ability casted by the authorities, public and the schools, it's hard(not impossible, i must clarify) for neighbourhood schools' students to stand up against "Top-notched" Junior Colleges' students. And the likes of Wee Shu Min, who are well-fed and well-groomed might view my blog(my honour? LoL) and start another round of criticism and backfiring, with the former laughing head over heels our my kitty-kat language skills and my inability to help myself. Oh well, I'm no RJ student, I should just sit and cry. LoL.

An equal platform of competition for everyone? I doubt so. Everyone is different, but we choose to judge them the same way. How good is that a gauge of our abilities and talents?

If you fail a math paper, does it make you lousy in math untimately if you can figure out a sudoku quiz in merely ten minutes?

No doubt the government has saw the shortcoming of the system, but the only question is, does it mean the people who already failed the system = sacrificial items?

How are we supposed to find the standing ground to establish our fighting ground if we do not have cash-flow like that of a never-ending river(Zheng Hu Lao Peh)?

Is being good in academic equivalent to our strengths in life?

Are our test scores reflective of our character? I think not.

Are they playing fields large enough to accomodate other sorts of talents and skills in Singapore?

Look at America, their students dont reflect the best in International Math and Science quizzes, but they are one of the best in innovations and enterprise? They aren't the ones who spoke perfect English too. Does it really matter? Singapore English very very bad meh? So, why not just ban diaglects from being spoken? LOL NO WE CANT, some people dont want riots and shaken their lightning roots.

Currently,

Elites = Academic scores or rich dad's son.

Income = everything.

We people so far down, are rejects. Wow, a few millions rejects with a small proportion in the "mainstream". I wonder what i should be wondering.

Wow.

hmmms

I will still dye my hair, find a job, go crazy and live my life to the fullest somehow before my army days. Hopefully, I dont die in army, another place filled with discrimitnation, now against physciall abilities.

Till I get myresults.

2006-11-10T17:39:00.000+08:00

[ countdown: 7days ]

destination: A new beginning.

implication: None

2006-11-10T17:37:00.000+08:00

-[ Get cha sexy out! ]-

2006-10-24T01:10:00.000+08:00

LAUGH!!!! REALLY

2006-10-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

-[ Fibrill of Memories ]-

What's up with memories?

Do they give you strength?

If you think they do, they dont. If you think they dont, you're right, they don't. duh

Make no mistakes, draw no more power from them.

Kim Sun Ah said in her role as Kim Samsoon to "stop thinking memories has any power at all. Memories are plainly for reminiscence." When I first heard it, I was so ready to rebuke all of what was said. Taking a few more moments to run the past moments at the back of my head, I came to realised that she, or probably the script writer, is actually right. Although you might still have love for that person from your past relationships, things WILL never work out again as lovers. Anger simmers to a nostalgic scar that hurts like a healing wound. Indulging in past successes lets you sink into a comfort zone heading for hell(quote: LFY).

But I will never choose to hide any of my memories for good. I like memories, happy or sad, exciting or boring. It lets me know, and makes me grow. It makes me feel the pain of yesterday, and prevents the grand fall from ocurring a.much.a.p. However, I'll keep telling myself to never let it get the better of me. It's not easy, but i have to try.

To be frank, I actually prefer sad memories than jovial-er ones. I'm pessimistic about the past, optimistic about the future and unsure of now.

Unveil the future. Understand the present. Change your past.

Trirony.

2006-10-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

-[ nostalgia ]-

[oh sh*t] I just wanna drown in sex and excitement.

[oh sh*t] Shh, you know hear me.

[oh sh*t] Stop the talking, let's get moving.

[oh boy] Check out your back, yeah watch my tail.

[oh you] Before you know it, we'll be over.

2006-10-01T18:10:00.000+08:00

ººLove and Relationshipºº

Don is right, I dont know lots of sh*t. "I'm a trendy geek whose making the best out of everything bad because I cant choose." Just one thing to tell Don: You are still young too, dont be too absolute.

I dont know everything, i dont think you do. At least, I know.

I'm here to make a little distinction: With love comes relationship. Yeah, They're undeniably intertwined and inseparable. But some people just try to have one of them unknowningly, relationship.

True Love is everything, including the aspect relationship. The form that has true mutual concern, true feelings involved.

True Relationship is more a cultivated achievement in a love. Where two has true mutual understanding, are without ego, with compromise, is sacrificial and non-conditional, of true maturity, and even the sacred sex. I dont mean these characteristics exist all time, they may seem to fade off, there can be quarrels and disputes, but they will prevail.

Dont try to put a time frame or sequence to love and relationship, they happen indefinitely and freely.

Nonetheless, there are people that ignorant to be oblivion to all these and be stubborn still. Today, in Singapore, most relationships are an "a" away from realtionship. It's just not real. Casting doubts onto the one you "love", holding onto your ego, refusing to lift the stern on your face, on and on. This is not love. This is not even relationship. Such terms are often misused by teens, like the terms: Friends, mature, sorry. "I love you" to some is just eight letters with two spaces in between. How insulting and hurting and devastating and agitating.

No! It is all of me when I mean really, really mean it.

Love is not only about the two person involved, it is not only about you, it is not only about him/her. It's about everyone you come into contact with.

Dont jump into a "relationship" when you arent ready, when you dont love him/her truthfully, when you still think yo'u are the more important. Dont fall in "love" if all you want is to receive concern and care from the other party. Dont fall in "love" if all you want is sex.

Be responsible, as a human enough who doesnt one to hurt the other party. You dont have to understand love first, you have to be ready.

2006-10-01T17:20:00.000+08:00

PeiLi's Shuaiges

yeah, peili likes gays. =)

2006-10-01T16:36:00.000+08:00

Beautiful Music
-reminds me why I am alive.

Hurt: Feel the gist of all of mine.

Moulin Rouge: Moulin Huge to be exact, with Mayo and Big Kim and plus plus. LOL

Deja Vu: Release the sensual fun and the sexual fun.

Ring the alarm: Sound the siren of truth and goodbyes.

2006-08-26T15:01:00.000+08:00

-[ Great Love, Great Speed, Bad Ending ]-

Should love be fast, furious and hot or should it be slow, steady and constant?

I wonder. I think about how some people could have such intensed love and still be sad while some has a simple love and still be sad too. Then again, such questions reap no reward because they are too many other contributing factors that I cant possibly cover everyone of them.

I wonder how some people "get over" a lost love in three days while some people takes months or even years to get use to the pain(note: get use to, not recover.). When i said "get over", i mean getting involved in a new relationship. For me, a new relationship is no substitute, and i dont wish to hurt anyone. If I wanna be with someone, it would meant that i want to commit and treasure.

But I just cant seem to understand why some people can be in "love" so soon again.

One thing I'm rather sure of: Happy people on stage arent happy.

2006-08-26T14:56:00.000+08:00

-[ One word : Hot]-

2006-08-19T14:25:00.000+08:00

-[great time of the year]-

My pc is down, my dsl modem bid farewell to me. I'm isolated from the world. I'm alone.

Then again, this is the best time for the internet to break down. The exams are coming and i'm very prone to keep it online while i'm "doing my work". Okay apparently i'm not focusing at all.

The exams are drawing so near, i feel the tremendous stress. ...

jia you.

Anyway, some people have come up to me and asked some bizarre questions, "eh, you broke up arh?'' Sounds strange to me too, i guess my entries are too misleading. Well basically, instead of venting my anger on someone and hurting him/her/them, i choose to vent in out on "anonmylous" and i could end up feeling alright without someone down. =)

The sad stuff online, just enjoy the poetry or ignore this blog. =)

2006-08-14T20:24:00.000+08:00

-[ thanks ]-

Today Nicholas presented me a miracle and keith bestowed me assistance.

I wanna thank the both of them.

2006-08-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

-[ Exhausted ]-

You gotta respect me.
You gotta understand me.

I am no one else.
Treat me like a decent love.

I've got emotions, and my limits.
You arent suppose to be wielding knives,
stabbing them one by one and slowly into the depths of weakness.

The delusions of fault confuses and exhausts me.
Told you once too many times, distinctions arent important
but baby, ooo
I feel underappreciated.
I'm just one poor soul, holding on to a little faith.
Hold it on for me.

For I fear my soul is weak,
and the wound is deep.
The hand's getting loose because I lost too much life fluid.

Too many priorities, you gotta made a decision whether u want me at all.

It isnt fair.

No, not to me.

Hold on to me,
or let me know you are letting go. =

I thought love was selfish,

I didnt know it was selfish towards each other.

Something simple complicates.

I cry.

2006-08-10T01:49:00.000+08:00

-[ I got trouble ]-

I've got trouble, trouble, trouble
Always knockin' at my door
Yes, I'm a whole lot of touble, baby
Just like a kid in a candy store
Well, I'm nothing but trouble, babe
Now since the day that I was born
Well, I'm as good as it ever gets
Give you something you won't forget
If you wanna spell trouble, babe
Well, send out an S.O.S

'Cause baby's got something,
Something you just can't ignore
And yeah, it sure is likely, babe
You'll keep on comin' back for more

I've got a wicked taste for trouble
And I'm never, never, satisfied
Yeah, I'm a whole lot of trouble, baby
And my evil ways can't hide

Oh, my my

Well, I've been itching for some trouble, babe
Every single day that I'm alive
Come on baby, come on darling
Come on sugar, ooh, yeah yeah
Hey, woo, whoa, said
Now listen

Can't you see the way I move
Can't you read it in my hips
There's a lot that's going on
In my pocket full of tricks
Got some secrets up my sleeve
If you know just what I mean
Got places you've never been
Take you out of your skin

Well I'm trouble, trouble, trouble, baby
Always knocking at my door, yeah
Yeah, a whole lotta, lotta touble, babe
Ooh, since the day that I was born
Yeah, oh yeah

2006-08-10T01:12:00.000+08:00

-[ Artic Desert ]-

Yup, It's so hot, I feel so cold.

What's this feeling inside me, thats rampaging yet misleading.

Having only my boxers on because the humidity's getting on me. Slipped on my jacket, because the cool of the air condition is freezing me. Zipped up, then zipped down cause I began sweating.

Oh how much a paradox, how much my life.

2006-08-10T00:24:00.001+08:00

-[ definitely not in the best of moods ]-

Im not smiling.

I dont want a quarrel, so i kept my piece.

Just a little afraid, cause the sky's really bleak.

2006-08-08T14:48:00.000+08:00

-[ Ouchs ]-

Yes it hurts, and badly.

I thought it was recovering, but it deterioated.

I started having persistent backaches since around March last year, resorted to Panadol Extend to curb the pain because i thought i merely had insufficient rest and stayed up too late too often. But i stop taking after a few weeks, dont like dependency on medicine.

Gradually, the pain didnt seemed to be affecting me, or maybe I already got used to the pain. I also started realising I couldnt stand/walk for long hours (shopping), I dismissed the thought of any serious implications as I believed I was just tired. Peili, remember I always say I needed to sit down cause my legs are aching?

and it's always my right leg. Started noticing the pain more evidently this year (this two months) when I wake up, sit down, stand up, lie down with sore muscles in my right leg. Kept complaining to the people around me and getting very frustrated.

Finally went to ask my father for help, he knew a thing or two about the body and how blood vessels meander around your body and remedies to cure. He told me the condition was rather severe and I probably fell down or got hit at my lower right side of back. The above image was taken after one of the treatment I went through.

I was starting to feel better already but somehow the pain started intensifying this week. I feel the pain on both my shoulders, upper left of my back, lower back and whole of my right leg. So much so that I couldnt concentrate on studies. Panadol extend again!!

The price, I cant get myself to sleep. Must squeeze some time to see a doctor...

A levels are coming, please not now

2006-08-06T11:25:00.000+08:00

-[ BBI ]-

Somehow BBI.loveyou reads like "baby I love you", and that is reflectory of my inner voice.

I love BBI. =D

Had a bbq last night around Serene's house, the venuw which is like within a few hundren metres from my house. The purpose was to celebrate Serene(6Aug) and Shuzhen(7Aug) turning 18. It's been long since all of us can make it, all of BBI original members. Of course not to forget, Louie-ssss and Wendy and JJ. Of which it's the second im meeting Wendy since 2001, didnt had too good an impression bad then(two evil mouths at loggerhead then.) It's all changed now, she's a str8-forward person who is kind at heart and generous in giving. =D

It was not all fun, fun, fun during the BBQ, we had our share of emotional moments. Shalln't elaborate, most prob my fault. The round table talk after the sparkling juice was the most entertaining, where we spill out our past "sins" and other experiences(Customer Service!). =) Anyway. attempting to send everyone home was the most fun part of everything, it seemed we werent too keen to part.

Pranwnster was afraid to go home alone! We asked him to board the last 143, then he goes on to ask if other buses, "cannot take meh?". LOL, then i said, "If you see other buses, better~~ dont~~ take~~ hor~~~. If the driver smiles at you, jump off the bus hor~~." Then he started attempting to walk to the busstop and then turned back to rush us to go home, so that we could send him off. LoL.

>>(ffw)

-[ ShiQi ]-.

Shiqi, abZhen and I proceed to send off wendy, while Jieying deals with the other group at her house. Afterwhich, the three of us walked abZ home. It was most enjoyable, being able to talk without having any need to put on a facade. When she's home safely, I took a walk with SQ back home. We live like 100m apart?, meaning he's more or less at my window if not for the trees, you want a much clearer picture.

Starting talking about the past: the old neighbourhood, our time together and the old friends. Okay, we were pretty much interested in science since young and there were many, many Pong Pong trees (know that they are about 4-6 stories tall each)in our neighbourhood. Apparently we tried to pollinate the flowers of Pong Pong. No we didnt climb the tress and rub the pollens grains onto the stigma(Plant sex, if you dont know what we're doing).

Basically, We picked up flowers freshly fallen from the trees and used twigs or tweezers to rub the pollens onto the t the stigma. If you dont know how stupid is that, it's like making the fish on your dinner table swim. I dont know what we did with the "fertilised" flowers(whether we brought it home to wait for the Pong Pong fruits to be bore or whether we planted the flowers in the soil again. hahas!!!), but I think watching the dead flowers die is quite a sad sight and would be devastating to the young hearts. =D.

Oh well, still remember those times whether he, Weibin and I used to cycle all around the neighbourhood. Things have changed. =) Still remember those little Science booklets(my elder bro's) I used to read and lend shiqi to read and then the two of us will do experiments like playing with batteries, metal objects and wires at attempts to light the bulb.

Those were the times Willy was still ignorant and niave, but having the purest enjoyment. =)

*Skips the sad stuff*

2006-07-31T21:13:00.000+08:00

-[ I fear 14 out of the 66 things in the list ]-
Think most of them I just need a little more time in adjusting to adapt to it. -)

[x] the dark (The unseen cause fear during anticipation)
[ ] staying single
[ ] getting married
[ ] being a parent
[x] giving birth (Guy giving birth is scary still)
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] cats
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ]spiders and/or other insects
[ ] driving or being in cars
[ ] flying
[ ] being put to sleep (anesthesia)
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[x] water (Some inherent fear)
[ ] the ocean
[ ] pools
[ ] failure
[ ] success
[ ] germs
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] mice/rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[x] cemeteries (I mean, no one really likes the spookiness you face there right?)
[ ] clowns
[ ] large crowds
[ ] demons or evil
[ ] crossing bridges
[ ] death
[x] Hell (Erm. Duh)
[ ] Heaven
[x] being robbed (Erm.. DUH)
[x] being sexually assulted (Assulted dont get rape can le. Guy-raped. Yah, you get the drift.)
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibility
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes (Like them only from far)
[x] hurricanes (Like them only from far)
[x] being punished ( I'll love this unless I'm into S&M like my cousin? LOL)
[x] diseases, including cancer and STD's (DUH)
[ ] snakes
[ ] sharks
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] poverty
[x] ghosts
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains or railroads
[x] fear (I fear FEAR, sounds cool hor.)
[ ] being alone
[ ] losing my friends
[ ] being blind to things
[x] being deaf (Cant live without listening to beautiful voices talking, singing to me.)
[ ] growing up
[ ] being murdered in my sleep (Just dont let me feel the pain, can le loh)

2006-07-31T20:42:00.000+08:00

-[ Double-U-Hedge, Double-U-Hedge-Wai-Wai ]-

Why Why Why.

Lalalalalla~ =)

Having a total assortment of thoughts man, but at least my mood's been settled and i've sorted out my emotions much better le. Still my fuse is still rather short. =) Sorry for those who have to put up with my tantrums, it wasn't something I would have wished for and I'm certainly trying to better cope with mood fluctuations. =D

Let me spend a little more time on this entry. ( Recently the posts may seemed much shorter and radical than in the past but it's because erm, there are dirty little secrets that you hide in your life but I choose to bring it up to a platform where more or rather concerned party can get to be informed of how I'm appreciating the situations.)

I know I have to depend more on myself now. It's not something bad actually. Everyone's different, so we cant expect every relationship to be the same. This period I would like to thank some people who are still in my life helping me, even in the very small ways: 05S19(YJ, Mitches-Kent), Dae ma, Deric, HH and many more whom I failed to name here. =) You may not know that by just being a friend, you are helping me a lot.

Anyway last Saturday, I went to town with Yong Kian and Kent. Ehs, nothing much to do, so just walked around. We ended up taking tours in supermarts at the basement of Paragon and Ngee Ang City. Goumet Hunt!! Did saw quite a spread of delicious food items and beverage, but I never bought anything, cause it still feels slightly weird to be carrying grocery from town to home?

Oh, there was a Wine "road show" in Paragon's basement, then the friendly salesaunts started pouring us generous amount of wine. Woot! We drank and got drunk, okay we didnt. Kent bought a bottle of sparkling wine, and one of the aunt gave us a sample bottle, say business not good, then ask the three of us go finish it up. LOL. How cool~!

Oh did I mention, we stole and ate very expensive and tasty champangne Grapes, that costs more than 50cents per grape!!! Very ex. Then so happens that it's very easy to do steal a bite, hehehehe, being little devils as we are... It was quite refreshing, really good grapes. =)

hmm.. I wont let the negativity sink in, at least for you. I must stay strong. I must be strong willed for my studies. I'm very happy that the syllabus is finally over! Can focus on revisions and not homework. Yeah!! ( Yup, there are actually silly people who are so happy when exams are reeling in fast.)

Life is good, I still believe.

Friend proves my point. =)

2006-07-31T01:44:00.000+08:00

-[ Fullstop. ]-

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now.

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what God needs
One more victim

Why do we crucify ourselves
Every day I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Got a kick for a dog beggin' for love
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter
He says will you ever learn
You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start
My own religion

Why do we crucify ourselves
Every day I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself

Every day I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Please be
Save me
I cry

Where are those angels
When you need them

Why do we crucify ourselves
Every day I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself

Every day I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Why do we ...
... chains ...
Crucify ourselves
Everyday

Never going back again
Crucify myself again

You know

Never going back again to
Crucify myself
Everyday

Today

I crucify myself.

2006-07-30T21:21:00.000+08:00

erm.

below are disorganised organisation of thoughts.

Dont dwell too much, baby.

Need to kill someone, why not my blog?

2006-07-30T21:02:00.000+08:00

-[ Deep Within ]-

I would let love lead the way,
if not for my own instincts.
Something is wrong,
and I know you are running away.

From me, because you are running
like an angel away from the devils behind her constantly.

Oh there's a slight difference between love and relationship.
I dont need the distinction made clear,
I just wished for you to realised it.

If I've done you wrong,
I should feel guilty.
But it's not me.
If I've hurt you,
I am really sorry.
I dont mean it.

But there are some things in myself,
that's radiating seriously from deep within.

I only know I love you.
And hope you face yourself.

Nice song hor!!

2006-07-30T20:58:00.000+08:00

-[ Making someone happy ]-

Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy

2006-07-30T20:49:00.000+08:00

-[ Just you ]-

Just the thought of being close to you.

Its incomparable.

I should be happy with the life I live,

And the things I do, seems like I have it all.

Can't make you, make you love me baby.

It's my life, what can I do?

Can't make you love me,

I'm just a boy with a crush on you.

-Can't make you love me: BJS

I dont need mountains of gold,

I dont need a million years.

You know what I need.

I dont need apologies,

if you cant hold my hand.

I dont want words,

if meaning it is not your style.

I'm sad,

I'm not rejected.

I'm just dejected.

I'm just dwelling in the lies you made to yourself.

2006-07-30T20:34:00.000+08:00

-[ Updates ]-

Sorry for the lack of regular postings despites some of your reminders, peeps. =X

Was caught up with some mentally bogging stuff. =)

Updates would be still be less frequent, I reckon.

Study pace gotta pick up and I gotta study harder.

Lesser time for everything else, lesser focus for everything else.

More energy on studies,

but no less importance of everything else.

I must make it.

2006-07-30T20:07:00.001+08:00

-[ Ravaged Beast ]-

This is just my animal instinct, not my hallucinations.

Saturday something has happened to me,
As I was having my cup of tea.
Suddenly I was feeling depressed,
I was utterly and totally stressed.

Do you know you made me cry?
Do you know you made me die?

And the thing that gets to me ,
Is you'll never really see.
And the thing that freaks me out,

Is I'll always be in doubt.

It is a lovely thing that we have.
It is a lovely thing that we.
It is a lovely thing, the animal,
The animal instinct .

So take my hands and come with me,
We will change reality.
So take my hands and we will pray.
They won't take you away.

They will never make me cry, no.
They will never make me die.

And the thing that gets to me,
Is you'll never really see.
And the thing that freaks me out,
Is I'll always be in doubt.

It's the animal instinct in me.

2006-07-22T12:23:00.000+08:00

-[ Oops ]-

It's been quite some time since I really spend time to blog.
Really sorry because I was spending a lot of time running around and studying. Just didnt have the time to sit down and type type type. Sorry.=P

The study stress is feeling me now. Teachers have spoken about their expectations explicitly. Browsing through the result slip that I just got today, all four subject tutors have but one thing to voice out, "He has great potential to do well and is currently underperforming."

O.o

Jia You!

A$$20
Oh yah someone from A$$20 sorta apologised and hope I can get over the matter. No worries to her, I say. You owe no one no apologies. Just have fun!

It was rather funny instead- to receive an apology for bitching others. Oh well, she meant well.

pL
It's great to see you really starting to get more independent, and remember I'll be here for you. And yah, you can only call me when you have problems and no one to look for. LOL! =P

Just joking! you are indeed getting more and more busy. =(
Remember to study hard, okay!

GeneraL
This past month has been rather wonderful actually.
Exams and deadlines are forcing near, so it's time to put things aside for a moment and work hard! But I wouldnt let things shallow. Gotta have perseverence and love. =P

2006-07-21T03:23:00.000+08:00

-[ babyless ]-

Time check.

This marks one day without your voice.

Oh how I miss you so,

how you voice will change everything I'm feeling right now.

Oh how I wished I could tell you I love you right now,

and let you know I'll be alright.

I just need you.

WeiJun is growing strong.

2006-07-06T20:23:00.000+08:00

-[ B*tch Out ]-

Today I had an half hour break at 10.30 following a whole stretch of lectures and tutorials, I was feeling veh hungry and there were no seats. Dumb people are occupying the seats like dogs who pee on their territory, placing bags all around. And if there were eating, I'd have jolly well shut up and not blog about this.

These ****tards were chatting away, flipping at notes. Not one but rather, quite a few groups. I mean, there's nothing wrong with studying in the canteen but surely you arent that ignorant that a lot of people are having break during that period (i.e if you have eyes) and some only have one pathetic break (i.e. if you have friends from other classes), and yet you are happily seating on a 8-seaters bench with three, four friends smiling away.

This is a stupid school canteen, not a cafe.

Pissed enough to pack my breakfast and have it somewhere near my next lecture and having to gobble down the food in mere 5 minutes, and I still have to deal with more stupid people. I had a hunch things arent going to get well with seatings but i decided to shut my trap and watch the situation in the lecture theatre. As always, we werent the first in the lecture, in fact the last few to enter. I noticed that my class is only occupying one full row of a bloc of the hall and there are left with about 3/4 of the row in front empty.

We are supposed to have about at least 2.5 rows of seats of a bloc. Oh well, we're always bullied. I walked in first and move up to next to some girls from A$$20 and put my butt down. And all the b*tches in front and next to me and ,"Wei, HEy Wei!"...

I am fkucing pissed to make any comments and just stood up, swing my bag and moved out of the row to join another class to sit with them. Darn pissed! Hello, My class only has one row now if u are still so fkucing blind and getting me off my seat. They even bossed my friend off and left about 5 seats empty. I thought they had classmates coming to join them, so I kept my piece.

Only to realised, it's just that the b*tches had wanted to move up and sit with her fellow b*tches. I heard from a friend that after we cleared the seats and the b*tche asked SzeH to move up, SzeH grumbled loudly, "I dont want to sit liao."

Just try to sense my blood boiling. Lucky I was too tired to even make a comment right then.

Oh yah, fkuc the ex councillors.
There's this guy called Su sian, a councillor, and he was sleeping in one of the math lecture. The lecturer saw it, called his name politely and all he did was not giving a sh*t about what she said and just rest his head on his hand and went back to sleep.

HELLO. I'm not saying I dont sleep in lecture. But at least when the lecturer wakes you up, you sit up with shame and at least pretend to be paying attention. It's about courtesy. Moreover, you are a SC. Aren't you supposed to be a little more exemplary and should be able to command my respect? Not that you cant make mistakes, just that I'm a little biased over here.

Now I see why I didnt.

My mood was darn bad as you see, it's because I'm veh tired. But heng I met ming today, woo, it was surprising and I'm veh happy. Wee.=D You totally changed my mood, man. Thanks!

Oh, what I did above is regarded as K@oBeh(KB) by mitches. And why I KB so much about trivial stuff when I do such irritating stuff also may seemed a little contradictory, but hey, this is what KB is about. You wanna b*tch about something, you must outdo others. Be unreasonable and have a whole bunch of mitches standing by you. =)

So shut up and nod.
or just shut up.

2006-07-06T18:46:00.000+08:00

-[ Results ]-

Common Test 2 was held during the last week of June Holidays for my school. Did try to study, although haven't really put much heart into it.

Just as what Miss Lang started to comment, "Willy Beh...." And I know what she was going to say and quickly replied, "orh, okokokokok..."

Knowing that I understood-ed her, she still continued with increased volume, "You are under-performing."

Yup. I am. To my own standard. But to my subject tutors, under-performing was with respect to my O' Levels results. 8 points for L1R5 and still choose @@, of course I'll be expected to be like topping the class or the school.

Blah.. I'm not that ambitious. I am not the best, but I'll seek to do my best. I dont dare to put in ALL of my effort now too, I'm afriad history would repeat itself. I worked too hard for my 'O' Prelims and thus for O's I dont know, I didnt do as well as I expected it to be.

Oh wells, A levels is my ultimate goal. I'm so sick of such syllabuses, where you have to study everything and sit for one-three papers at the end of it all. It's just so stupid. Wanna move on to the tertiary education style where you sit for modules/courses by itself and you dont have to continue to mug at them altogether for your final paper.

My grades this time:

GP:54.5/100

Maths:53/100

Physics:52.5/100

Chemistry:70/100

I know it really seemed like dirty-raggy results but hey, hmm, I'll work harder. It wouldnt be taken into consideration for my final A' Levels or prelims scores.

Final target: A,A,B(A hopefully),A2.

Go Willy!!

2006-07-01T23:49:00.000+08:00

-[ If one day 1.1 ]-

Just two more person I would like to add on to the previous list on -[ If One Day ]-.

Daniel(Ze Lun) would prolly miss me a little for my rantings and me going up to him with my doubts and questions. Or maybe im a bother and a pain in the ass? hahaha.. Maybe he would miss me a little for my sarcasm which involves concern. I dont know.

YuZheng would probably miss me a little for the swimming weekends. YuZheng would probably miss a little of the times we had great meals and the times we poke fun at each other. He might miss me a little for my stupid biological/science questions i ask.

05S19 would probably miss me a little for my mean-ess. Nah.. i think i would miss 05s19 more instead.-

Feeling a little all too emotional.. Might end up in a daze while crossing the street then kena bang down by a car then really die. Oh.

I'm not okay.

2006-07-01T03:17:00.000+08:00

-[ If one day.. ]-

Peili asked me to do something similar to her entry on 01/07/2006.
Yup true, certainly thought about my life going a little wild, a little wrong.
But the list of "what ifs" just runs on, I just wanna highlight two here.
Bear in mind that whatever I talked about here are in no order or importance, ranking or so to say.
I have deliberately messed up the way names(and the messages) are listed.

This post, only one purpose:
Just in case, I'm gone for no reason.

If one day.. I went missing on purpose,

How would you find me?
Keep ringing up my cellphone or my domestic phone?
Do you know who I would turn to?
Do you know where I would run to?
Or would you just pray for a miracle?
Or would you even bother?

For most of the time, a normal-non-scheming person runs away to hide for two reasons:
=/To have a little time being alone.
=/To be found by you.

If one day.. I were to die,
What would be your first reaction?
Would you say, "What a pity!" or "I cant believe it."?
What would you miss about me?
My stupid jokes, my sarcasm, my blog?
My concern for you?
Or would you still hate me?

Black Beans International (BBI) would probably feel all too lost for the noisy and stupid Willy isn't there anymore. Probably misses his ridiculous jokes and veryveryvery mean comments on every friend/stranger. Shiqi would probably miss me a little for my listening ear i've lent him before. Lester probably miss me for being mean to him. Shuzhen might miss the curse of Alexandra taking its toil on us and all the giggles we shared, and for being my longest friend(From when I was 5). Yuhui would probably cherish the lamest jokes we cracked and for the comfort we gave each other. Serene would probably miss me for being irritating and wishing someone to get on her nerves. Jie ying probably would miss the times when we laughed over stupid stuff and times when I help her carry stuff. Eileen would prolly miss me, would she? She would, we are friends. BBI prolly would come together and cry for a while and talk about the times we shared.

I'm so sorry, keep BBI going.

Yixin would probably feel a little lonely on some nights when there's nothing much to do and a game of hexic might come in handy.
Probably a little lost when an examinations come along, and Willy isn't there to mug with her and to bug her with his stress.
Probably a little sad whenever she steps into an arcade centre standing next to a Pop'n'Music machine and reminiscing the times we scheme others away, the times we laugh till we cant hit the buttons.
Probably a little hate when I am not there when she wants to scheme an evil plan to escape.
Probably miss me for the times we shop for presents and assert our creativity in it.

Probably a little of the times we shared our food.

I'm sorry for being so selfish and left first.

Peili would probably miss me just a tiny bit for the times we went out and went crazy, the long phone calls we shared, the closest we enjoyed. She would probably miss me most for my listening ear and me sharing my personal stuff. She would probably sign into my blog and do some stuff bah. (Go ahead, you have my permission) I'm so sorry for causing you so much pain again.

JunMing would prolly miss me a little bit for the care we gave each other. Probably a little for the period of time when nights were never lonely and cold, I'm sorry to leave first.

Ken would probably continue missing me. So sorry.

Weilin would probably miss the times we travel to school together and laugh over the stupid-ess stuff. And when we critique other people. Probably the times we eat garlic bread together. Probably the times we spy at my deardear. Probably the most embarrassing acts we commited.

OG14 would probably missed my stupidity and my trademark pose. Probably also the unitedness we all once shared. Probably the laughters we always have had. Thanks OG14, esp Jacq, Calista, Andrew, Kelvin, Sherylynn.

Mitches would probably recall me for me "coldness" and stupid stupid jokes. Probably the tears we shared because of jokes. Probably the role play and drama mamas we all played together.Kent would probably a little miss me for my sarcasm most dearly. Probably also some of the goodnight messages and motivation and help we gave each other in times of adversities and doubt. Probably a little of the times we sipped coffee and talked about everything personal and hypothetical. Forgive my evilness and thank you for accepting me the way I am. JieSheng probably would miss me for the times we are having drama class. Cheng probably miss me for my sarcasm and rudeness and the times we studied together with Kenty Panty. Tong would probably miss me for sms him sometimes when... Thomas probably miss me for the times when we "attituded" together and when we shared genuine/honest comments and stories with each other.Nicholas probably hope a little that I am still there to poke fun at him and just talk talk talk.

Huiting would prolly miss a little for the times we share our problems and when I depended on her for her help. She would probably miss a glimpse of the times we danced together, the time we laughed together. Probably also the times when I teased and bully her. =) I'm so sorry.

Alicia would probably miss me for the evil poking at each other. Probably she would be so inbalanced when yang is gone. BWI and A&W would be gone. Darkness would probably prevail. I'm sorry I'm not always there.

KaiLin would probably miss the times when we are in 05S71. Probably our PCME gang. Probably the times we just laughed until we cant move.

So many probably i used.. why?

Im not sure whether I'm good to you at the slightest degree.

and Am I worth your time and memory?

Not really.

So, please move on with hope.

Oh right, I must wait till my note book is done. I'm having personal letters addressed to people close to me. We'll see. And I didnt mention everyone who touched me in the slightest way or moved me deeply because it's just so impossible. I do love you.

With love.

2006-06-27T19:02:00.000+08:00

-[ Slow Down Baby ]-

I'm moving too fast, moving too blindly.

Gotta keep my head cool,

watch where i'm going.

I dont wanna be just part of the fireworks.

Beautiful things do last a lil' longer than that.

Fantasy can be a reality.

Reality can be beautiful.

With hope, I believe.

Baby, live in me.

2006-06-25T14:05:00.000+08:00

-[ Aint No Other Man, But Me. ]-

Hey peeps, i'm back to basics.
Back is Christina, and my love for her lives on.
God. Just see for yourself.

How can one not love her?

Oh right, die if you dont. =)

Lose yourself with me as she sings live in MTV MOVIE AWARDS 2006

Her Show-stopping video.

Go Slow Baby
in Slow Down Baby(just the song, not a video frankly)

I

Back To Basics will hit stores August 18th.

I gotta skip meals and other indulgence.

so broke now.

2006-06-24T14:55:00.000+08:00

-[ Pretty Normal People ]-

The blinding lights shines on me and blinds our visions.

But most importantly, it makes you think we're pretty normal.

Yes, we are.

But not times like these.

And oh, we had such fun.

First up, we have the Ruhua's head-in-stockings impersonation.

Such great resemblence.

Maybe, she is ruhua?

Oh, I tried so hard and only to appear conceited.

Haha, i look like a mutant!

Welcome the new X-men!

A Mutant shot.

Ah dai and ah gong.

Oh, When I'm so normal.

Guess im not much better!

Finale!!

hahahaha!!

2006-06-18T17:49:00.000+08:00

-[ My Passion Card ]-

I love to dance. Since young bah..
hahahhaah..

Okay.. tell u somthing, I was from Chinese Dance in my primary school days.
From p2-5 bah.. That's the maximum allowed career in my school, p1 cannot dance, p6 = PSLE.

Hmm. I was not exceptionall good looking or adept in the dance but the dance coach( Miss Yeo, i think so.. Wrong arh?) seemed to like me quite a lot. She likes to put in the middle where all the limelight is in most/all of the dances. (wahahah!!) There are some moves then when i grew older i cant do, like the hula hoop and the cartwheel. But she still puts me in the middle mostly together with shuwen(Miss Yang). (wAHAHAahaAha)

The warm-ups are the most interesting part actually.

CCDDZ: a repetitive set of back muscles and thigh muscle stretching and flexibility training.
Oh by the way, There's background music to train your response to the rhythm. First, start of with you lying on the face down on the ground with your hands by the side like u are doing push ups. Then start by arching up your upper body up as far back as possible with your arms straightened making an alphabet "C". Hold the position till you-know-when(you listen the music so many times, you just know when) and you will recover to the first face-down position. This is repeated twice.

Then comes the interesting one. This time, you arch your upper body like making a C again. Next, bent your lower-leg(??dont know how to term this part of the body) upwards in an attempt to touch your head. No. it's not dirty. I CAN TOUCH, YOU KNOW? But that's history lah.. haha.. cant do it since Seconday 3 le. No it's no over.. u have to hold it there for about 10seconds of the music. Then put it back down, lying flat with hands by the side.. Super shiok. Repeat this action twice.

Last. omg!! you cant believe how we make a "Z". It's unbelievable!! I dont even believe it myself!. Because it's really, really challenging and tiring.
Behold.

Once the music cues, you crunch up into a little ball, making a "Z". LOL.. HOW ELSE? It's supposed to be a relaxation exercise. LoL.. Weeee~

Sleekness Training: This goes with another piece of exercise and you get to stretch your hands and train up your sleekness in execution of actions. There are like punches and stances you do with yourself kneeling down, butt sitting down. Although strength is involved, it's more about controlling the strength to execute it at the precise time and at the same time, exhibit gracefulness. Woo! sounds gay. hahahahah.

There are some more warm up exercises but i forgot about them le. yah.
After the warm-ups would be the choreography le loh, the students dont get much say in actually choreographing the moves but if you have opinions/difficulty, the coach is more than willing to assist you to adapt or alter the move. It was really fun. You get to see how her mind gets the whole pictures, get us the cue to get out of the curtains, into the curtains, down from a pyramid(human pyramid, up on two person thigh).

She taught me all my basics and got my body ready loh. There's one funny incident I can never forget, we were participating in SYF. I forgot how old I was. Interesting thing is im not nervous? hahaha.. dont know why. Anyway, we were backstage and we're up next. The team behind us kept pestering us to see which school we're from. We just refused to say loh, a bit cocky lah we, we just find no point, cause they were quite proud of themselves. Then when they heard the announcement for Pandan Primary School. They starting laughing for Christ's sake. They keep saying "Panda bears lai de", "Pandan cakes dancing"

WAhahaha!! Come to think of it, it's quite funny nor. Then we just went on and dance lah, we didnt care much. Forgot what we got, silver or bronze bah.. hahah.. forgot le.

Oh yah, in between the Chinese dances, I still participated with some dances performance with the class. There's Hushenfu and Fart who choreographed the dances. Super fun. There's was this performance in primary 5 or 6. We decided a mix of chinese and english dance blend into a performance on one of the school's occasions. Way cool. I helped choreographed the chinese dance part. yupyup.

Moving into the secondary school, hell of my funnest years. Lesser performances though, but more professional ones.

There was this sec two CCA camp, then that's when I ascend to be the president.(Yah, during sec two, so lots of people cursed me. hahaha) Then the last year executive comm and this year's decided to have a performance item on its campfire night(just a pathetic candles fire). We decided to dance. Actually, I was supposed to help to choreograph. But I think i was incompetent, so just kept quiet throughout. The dance comprises of group moves and duet moves. I paired up with my soulmate-cum-passing-down-president, huiting. And just dance and dance gracefully and romantically. It was a super nice night. Oh, Siew Fai, our veh veh veh senior senior, was posted with the question "who was one of the better dancer". He said me leh.. wahahaha.. cause he say I got the steps in my heart le, so excution very smooth. Wahahaha!!

Oh anyway, there's one more dance that I really enjoyed. I choreographed it with Alicia and Zhen Wei. It was really fun. really really. Coming out with the steps, correcting them. woot. The song was Jewel's Intuition. Strange choice, but oh well. better than nothing. and we were actually forced on stage by our attention grabbing chinese teacher. It was really hella time. missed those days.

did i mention I found my ultimate dance partner?

It's Alicia! My dream would be to enter a competition with her, that's just a fantasy really. Dancing tango and playing sexy. Woot. OMG. Alicia has a body made for dancing lah. Nicely toned, and shapely. Oh. I'm not fantasizing, just praising respectfully. =D

Is it posssible i get a dance career for five years then be a model?
woot.
dreams.

I can dance like that. hahahahaha.. jk jk..

This is a live performance loh, she wasnt singing life throughout. Some parts are lip-synched. But even Beyonce dont sing whole song de nor.

2006-06-17T22:35:00.000+08:00

-[ B-freak II ]-

2004 Mt. Zion Swingsations: Me Against the Music

They are actually singing Britney's Me against the Music about one third into the video. Way cool!

Dateline Interview With Britney. Chosen I

Chosen because there are actually four to five parts,
but i'm only showcasing two parts in my blog.
Really interesting how she talk about her career and her weakspots.

She tends to talk crap when she's about to cry.hahah=D
I love her for who she is.
Oh well, Just make sure she gets back to music professionally soon. =)

Dateline Interview With Britney. Chosen II

2006-06-17T18:02:00.000+08:00

-[ Just a note ]-

oh yah.. this post is to verify that my blog isnt a spam blog.
It's me, me, me!!

Only creativity, no spamming.

2006-06-17T17:13:00.000+08:00

!oaic os.siht ekil gnipyt derit ma I.

!!!uoy aij annog mI.tey noitaraperp ym ni detrats tog yllaer t'nevah I si gniht dab .yawa syad evif trohs a ekil era smaxe ,pu desserts hev yllaer osla m'I woN

.ron no dear ,od yllaer uoy fI ?uoy od, em evol od uoY

.em dna uoy htob rof drah efil ginkam yb ,elttil a uoy esuma ton yhw thguoht i os.

eno ylno eht ton saw I sseug I tub ,derob 'lil a ma I yadot

-[ thgir revo tfel ,nwod edispu ]-

2006-06-17T16:29:00.000+08:00

-[ The World of i ]-

People are getting more and more i(s).

iPode.

iPode hSffule.

iPode Nano.

iPode Colour.

iPode Video. [ \o/ yeah ]

iBooke.

I dont have any iPod.

But Yuhui and me have something new on the racks for you retards:

Idot.

Idiots, without me.

2006-06-17T16:11:00.000+08:00

-[ New Purpose]-

Currently searching for new materials for better blog entries.

Planning to be more organised and more inspiring.. haha

Dont know much now, see how things go loh.

Just got a new notebook, finally!

Recently realised i needed a new one:

Was waiting for Kent to come and meet me up and

I was sitting at Jurong East Mrt Station.

Was noticing quite some trends and I serious have lots to shout out.

But, I just got no pen and notebook to properly store my thoughts in.

It's gonna be different this time. =D

Bigger and better.

2006-06-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

-[ Blind ]-

Im trying to type without looking at the keyboard or screen for this entry, typing as the song goes, typing as my heart soars.

A Song By Corrine May: All that I need

I kjnow I'm far from perfect.

But like a child that needsa a guiding hand,

cank you stay heere?

I've fIinally understand,

you've allways been the miossing part,

complete the jivgsaw puzzle of my heaert.

Please hyear me when I say.

You are all that oI need

The only treasure iu see

You're the air that helps me breathe.

Through the darkness, I went.

I'm all down on my knees,

I was blind but now I see.

You are that I need.

Please let me hear your voice again

let me hear you say your love will never end

that whatever it takes you'll be there

When I say,

you are all that I need.

I'm as blind as love is.

2006-06-14T03:39:00.001+08:00

-[ B a b y ]-

LOVE

A time irreplaceable.

2006-06-13T15:20:00.000+08:00

-[ WishList ]-

Now that my birthday is over!!

I can have my wishlist!!

.1.SONY PSP(Must have X-Men Apocalypse, woot! I want Tales Of Eternia too!!)

.2.A Tote Bag from a Heeren Shop(But super ex, so dismissed the thought already)

.3.[Elizabeth Arden] In Control

.4.A new computer!! Mine is like 5.99GB and really crawling..

.5.Repair My N7610's Keypad, it's killing me, like doing gym like that, press until i die.

.6.Have my hair long, not too long. Dye it then crisp perm. yeah im mad!

.7.New graffiti shoes

.8.A new house.. im sad.. hais..

.9.Get out of JJ!!

10.Love

11.Be embraced

12.More Challenges

13.Determination

July13th, 13 wishes.

There u have it, im materialistic. =D

2006-06-12T13:53:00.000+08:00

-[ Fives II ]-

It's been three months and now it's the second installment to my series of Five. The Five favourites and Five Hated.

First up:

=/bLoved Fruits
1.MANGO!! (I will die without mangoes!! they are oh-so-heavenly.)
2.Mangosteen(Love it, just afraid of chewing on the bitter seeds by accident)
3.Nyambu(Some sort of water apples, u wont know it lah.. just must crunchier and juicer than apples)
4.Lychee and grapes(Very sweet and chewy)
5.Small Tomatoes(Very funny taste, dont know how to describe.. it's like eating Salsa sauce.)

=/bLoved Vege
1.Kang Kong(Fried with Chilli and haerbee or with prawn noodles soup. OMGoodness tasty)
2.Water crest something(Very tasty in soup)
3.Mustard Green(Daily intake)
4.Actually i like all sorts of vege lah.. begining to like Bittergourd too. =D
5.nothinglah..

=/h8ed Fruits&Vege
1.Papaya(Im sorry, but i just feel it taste like fart+vomit)
2.Mushy apples(Apples that are not crunchy and like semisolid mud, yucks)
3.Raw Cabbage(Taste Trashy)
4.Raw Carrot(Yucks, i only like its juice, i cant stand biting the hard and bitter carrot)
5.nothing in mind so far

=/bLove Staple Food
1.Noodles(It's my life!!)
2.Pasta(My second life?hahaha)
3.Rice with lots of tasty gravy!!
4.Porridge(Not the teochew plain porridge, im a teochew that's anti plain porridge)
5.Kueh Teow.. hahaha

=/bLove Dishes
1.Hokkien Prawn Mee(The one behind Bukit batok Secondary)
2.Prawn Soup Mee
3.Baby Porridge(My mum's dish, lots of mashed carrots and chucks of Luncheon meat. OMG)
4.Pastas=D
5.Home Cooked Food

Oh yah.. My Love has to love me more than i love her, so that she can always make me love her? hahaha..

2006-06-04T20:38:00.000+08:00

=====================================================
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth

=====================================================

I feel alive, revived and revitalised.

Hey something cool i came across onlinfe:

It pleasant when you dont have to move a finger and your hair gets styled.
It sweet when tasty dumplings gets tastier through someone dear feeding you.
It rocks when you are tired and hungry, you get a delicious meal whipped up and delivered right up to you.
It assuring and calming when you are afraid and lost, someone runs the miles to bring you home.
It's cool when you take care of me while I take care of you.

It's love when I found you.

Interesting hor? Came across it in a blog loh. I find it so sweet. If it happened to me, LoL, I'll love that girl like never ever before. Unprecedented Love? This is more likely to happen to a girl than to a guy lah. LOL

Anyway, yesterday(Saturday 3rd June 2006) was my secondary school's, Bukit Batok Secondary School, 20th Anniversary Celebration/Dinner. We met up and got some gifts for our teachers. Cards for everyone of them, a pen each for Mrs G-hydroxide and Mdm Yaw That Kind.

The event was even greater than my Graduation Night 2004. Not that the food was superb or the the place was glam. Just an ordinary school carpark turned D'marquee, food was only passable. The servive attitude's really bad to the core. The waiters grumbles and nags when you ask them for help, one of them dripped ice water into Alicia's jeans because she was not careful(it's was due to negligence) and the other one spilled large amount of water over the table spoilling some of our card envelopes and wetting some bags. Too lucky for them that I was busy search for teachers and friends to have time to get nasty back with them.

A few shockers that night:

=/Seeing Florence shine as ever and cool as gem.

=/Catching up with JunRong(Couldnt help but detect a smoke scent on him, asked him to smoke less. LoL)

=/Finding all my friends staying the same or changed for the better. =DDD

=/Having to receive sweet wishes from my friends when we already headed home.

Mdm Yaw saw me and her comments were, "Wah, this boy now seldom come back arh. Now very hip arh, cool hair, bling blings and stuff arh. Last time you were my good boy arh."

My friends' replied to her in unison, "Aiya, he has always been like that de. Just pretend to be good boy in class." LOL, lucky she hasnt seen my piercing, if not she will be overwhelmed. XD

Anyway, It was cool seeing the Sugababes, Juli, Darshini and Yoges still being so sweet. =) And It's heartwarming to see Alicia still as bickerable and alive again! June is still crappy and chirpy like those days where Mrs Goh will need to say, "June, Shut up lah." LOL. EK is still so fun to bully, Kah Sheng still so retarded. Adeline still so blur and happy. Kaiyu still as crazy. Lihui still as sociable. Weepin still so gay(joking). Caroline turning chaota.

I got super high as the event proceeded to an end and music started to pound hard, that i started going crazy. Alicia showed me a message she typed on her cellphone, "I can imagine you in a club". Tsk! YMCA, alicia once more!. LoL

It was even more fun when we managed to gather a good 20+ people gathered at the old classroom for picture taking, arranged the tables back to like in the past and took a photo like that. MEMORIES!. And there's more phototaking session outside the classroom. SUPER MEMORABLE! June says, "Tonight will be part of memory till the day I rest in peace." Too bad she forgotten that there will be no peace with me around, so she needs me to die first. haha. A pity Yixin had to leave earlier. I was like high on some drugs lah. =)

Oh the classrooms and the whole school will be gone by this year. New compound would be errected and that means memorial places will be gone. All the ghost stories! All the sad times. All the joy! All the fun!

Enjoyed a good drink with June and Ade at Jurong point before we went home.

People, send me the photos leh.. then i can blog and save it for keepsake.

I love my life while I hate it.

Oh how I miss my life in the past,

not everything though.

2006-06-04T18:46:00.000+08:00

Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth
Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth Rebirth

=====================================================

2006-06-02T00:00:00.000+08:00

-[ My Girl's Big Day ]-

This is my beloved girl! And No!, she's not getting married just as yet. She's just crossing over the 18th year old checkpoint. Pass that, she be able to smoke, drink and best of all, get admitted to adult jail together with me! No more juvenile! Happy Birthday Hui!! I Love You! BBI Loves You, know that!!

2006-05-30T02:19:00.000+08:00

- [ Two testicles I've on Friendster: ] -

hAn Ning Posted 8/1/2004
hey!! tot i wrote sth more positive for ur testimonial...hahaz...ermz oso dunou really well juz rmb u as a funny and lame guy hehe though u are not like super handsome and stuff but u exude a certain charm or charisma (aiya wateva) tt wud attract ppl to u hahaz...okiex finally understand y u so popular(ppl tell mi tt u r..haha so ok lo..) ermzzhehe dun keep all ur probs to urself(dunno wat i saein liaoz) so ermz tk cr and god bless hahaz (">) --cHa0 t4 ba0zZ

Peili Posted 3/12/2003
Willy... A special name... =]ok... i've been thinking of how to phrase all my comments in words... andrecently, i've read an email and find it quite true for ya... so just copysome parts and psate k? hope to do better than the previous one...

=]He could create his own little world, and sometimes no one would understand him. A man with a conflict personality.He is a cool, understanding, able to work well...He is a freespirit who likes venture, but when he wants to be alone, do not touch him but to let him be.

He sees anything in details and not easily trusted people till he thinks he knows them well...He like to search and analyze people andthings.You can just smile and he will think why and what are you smiling about, and if you are pretending. Once he trust you and accept you as afriend, no one can says other wise to change that for he will not listen to gossip.

He will be honest and sincere to his friends.

If he finds it is necessary to lie, he will find other ways not to tell you or avoid telling you anything. If he really has to lie,you will never be able to tell that heis lying.

He can really keep secrets,so you will hardly know that he is alonely soul. He is a sand in your palm, the more you want to hold it, it will slip out...erm... these all copied out from the email... tink some are really so true... *i tink only...* Do give urcomments...

========//

Yup, seoul far seoul true for the second testicle.

I'm a person with lots of logics, principles and laws, but evoked emotions can overwrite anything. I'm a emo-based person.

That's why I contradict myself.

2006-05-30T02:03:00.000+08:00

-[ missing out notes]-

think i missed out a few points on the previous entry.
forever love is something that exist, but is something some people rarely succeed in finding.
I believe in it, not believe that I will definitely find mine.

Yah, understand ur point of view.

For me, my forever now= as long as possible, not clinging onto a relationship that hurts either or both.
10 years might not beat 10 days.
The love lives on, even if i'm not physically with the person i once loved.
Love haunts for me.

Oh YAH!!
I got a phobia of sex, thank to Joseph telling some stuff.. LOL. Yucks, disgusting and *PPhreaikk(vomitting violent)
But easily overcome, i know how to.

To the readers, dont forget who i am.
Controversy, itself.

By the way, i found the most contradicting statement ever leh.
See if you can fathom why: "Humans say the most contradicting things."
I'll explain why soon.

2006-05-29T22:05:00.000+08:00

-[ Sparks ]-

Quote Louie Lim Gui Min(LOL) from his Bulletin Post on Friendster to start the post off.

6signs of euu falling f0r sumone

1-As soon as you get online - Whose name do you look at first

2-When you hear your phone ringing - Who do you hope it is calling

3-When a love song comes on the radio - Whose face comes to your mind

4-Which name makes your heart skip a beat everytime you hear it

5-Who is it that you always find yourself thinkingabout - wondering if they're thinking about you

6-The whole time you were reading this "bulletin",there was only one person on your mind.....

========//

Rather thought provoking hor, I gotta stress this to everyone of you. Falling for someone does not mean love. Yup. Strange as it seems, it might well be a simple game of attraction.

No one is sure until both are true and frank.

========//
Picture perfec
Who would be better than the guy whom everyone referred to as narcissistic(Nope, not the vampire-angel-crossbreed-mutilated-beast Daniel) to start off this section of shocking and unbelievable gallery.

The all-so-handsome hunky me! Sorry arh, I got sick of taking perfect pictures where u tilt your head 30 degree to the right/left and struck ur most stunning seductive eye. LoL.. Just wanna have fun! Somehow, with no offense, I resemble William of Superstar Champion. Not that I was try to be him, it all started when Yixin said i look like him when i was playing an idiot. Then eh.. yah.. Very sadistic to be like impersonating him, so i wouldnt elaborate. =X

Guess what? My crazy Internationally Listed complany has come to join me in our crazy adventure

We're dorks and dumbfs, i do agree.

Let's review our Davincie Cast. I'm Carrot Lantern and from the bottom right and clockwise: Pranwmy, Lietenaut Collect, Agent Soapy Nehbu, Sister at Saint Suplice, Fache Mernage, Harlot(prositute) 1 on the streets, And eh.. Andre(bank manager)

2006-05-29T13:17:00.000+08:00

-[ Brimming with Life ]-

As hard as Ne-Yo's "So Sick" keeps trying to churn up mixed emotions in me by going "Say I'm so sick of love songs, so sad it's slow..", Corrinne May's "Angel In Disguise" just resound in my head. So it means I'm having a positive mindset now!

Take a look at the ordinary,

Dont need to look for paradise,

You could be next to an Angel in Disguise.

Everyday can be legendary.

This entry would be rather rojak: huge content, no structure or planning but nonetheless nice and tasty. I'll deal issues one by one.

It's Smokin'

Smoke. Cigarettes. Lungs Cancer. Air Pollution. Tar/Nicotine Intoxication. Passive Smoking. Tubercolosis and so the list runs on. We are all too familiar with the list of negative implications cigarettes, so i wont bore you by beating around the bush. I'm not on an Anti-Smoking Campaign or am I any spokesperson for any organisation.

In fact, I find the scent musk in cigg's smoke rather erotic as of what i've encountered in pubs.

My only motive is to reach out to friends close to my heart and my loved ones who likes to have a butt(pun intended) stuck in their mouth. My front is nothing moral, social, or great in any way.

It's just, for me. Yup A selfish reason. I find that if the people i mentioned above smoke, they are like shortchanging the time we are going to spend with each other, our/my happiness and all other moments together with illnesses and an earlier death. Im not talking the effects of passive smoking due to my friends, but rather the impact of ciggs on their health in the long run.

Yes, this has been going on in my mind for a long time before i decided to post it online. =)

Smoking is like burning away the colours of your/my/our lives.

Smoking: Maybe a choice for you, a tradition for you children.

Stop the cycle

Love

Been broken into tiny shards that eventually never got pieced together to form the innocent heart that i used to have. I realised that clinging on to your old self doesn't help. Let go and re-mould my heart to a more society-fitting battle-ready form everytime some one i loved hurt me.

When a relationship ends, it's just so pain-inflicting. It hurts. Your world caves in, the skies darkened, your purpose gone. But I carried on with my life, staggering with each step but still with hope. Only thing in mind, was to learn from my loss and mistakes, and to wish the other party the best.

When a couple splits, both played a part in the separation. Not entirely one's fault, or it might just be simply the that your personalities conflicted each other loh. Don't persist onto something you once had. Cherish the past, no cling onto it.

Dare to take up a love and dare to let it go.

You know what?

I still believe in forever love.

It's just in some rubbish chute.(ponder what i mean, ask me if u really cant.)

Other thing on Love is that, I'm super anti those fup(f-up) people who used the term "stead" to address their loved/attached one. I mean, if you are thirteen and you lack of the vocab to address that special person in your life, I wont blame you. but, lakhasdfs u get what i mean. I just feel that the word "stead" is uber childish, immature and lame. I dont like the term girlfriend/boyfriend also. Prefer to be calling her like, "This is my girl" or "My love".

Yah lah.. it's just a term, but the word "stead" is really misused and misinterpreted by all already. Avoid using that.

The one you loved most is not likely to be the one that will live your life with you.

The one that loved you most not likely to be the person who will end up with you.

The one that ends up with you tends to be a person that you dont love too much, or loved you too much.

General life

I got tired. So I decided to lump everything here in this category.

Life has been quite spastic recently. Life's monotonous for a while, but not it's picking up a little pace and intensifying. It was warm, easy and sweet. I still dont dare to make any big step, because i'm not so sure. But certainly I do feel I'm giving a little too much right into my life. Am I over-doing? Am I just another period of sex sessions or so to say? I dont wish the song "Get Mine, Get Yours" by Christina Aguilera to speak too much of.

LoL.. blah blah.

Holidays! Got more time on my shoulder but I hope i wont waste too much of them this time. Gotta study hard, Mid Year Exams reaching its evil arms towards me. And there's no escape. It's fight, no flight!

After Physics's last SPA(Practical) assestment on thursday, some of us went out for pizza after it. I'm in the picute, you can pick up a few strands of my hair left to the first guy on the left bottom column. Yah.. I was cut off. Sians. Anyway, wonder why Kent is up with colours? He told me, "you noticed cheng face gone in that pic? i pursposely cover de." Wah.. I listen le, suddenly feel very evil then expose his acts loh. =)

Me and fart(siettie lah, she will kill me for calling her fart). The multi-talented(artiscally and linguistic-ly) girl who wanted to take a picture with me when i was just starting to style my hair. No, this is not way close to what I was trying to achieve. It's for the effect, peeps. Taken during last year(2005) March PPS6A1999 Chalet.

Silas and Remy(or rather Prawny

The Ugly(ME), The Poser (always ready to smile and struck a innocent look) and the Greedy(Watch how the food is gone on her stick while we still have ours on.)

Are you ready for me?

2006-05-24T23:31:00.001+08:00

-[ another one of the many Rants ]-

I'll quote WeiLin to tell of today.

www.cchocolatee.blogspot.com

Wednesday,24 May 2006's entry:

"oh yeah, i was late for the 1st time in school today. even though there was a need to pass my bus pass to the uncle, or write my name on a slip of paper, i did neither. (: hehe willy was even cleverer, he wrote someone else's name and slipped away! haha koko said that we cld hitch a ride cus hes taking a cab. but apparently his cab missed our bus stop. haha you shld have seen the looks on our faces. instead of looknig shocked cus we missed each other, we looked at each other as the cab whizzed away. LOL damn funny lah. anyway, we tried to take a cab but there was no available cab ~~(must be willy not handsome enough)~~, so in e end we took 198, after missing 3 of it."

I must say we were very sly slugs, keep thinking of plans to not hand in our buspasses, but it was must easier than expect, stupid dogs.

We are scheming people. =)

But I'm the evil one.

I realised my class guys worse than bit**es and gays... gossip like hell of a business. And AHhh.. i just cant continue, fagging.. and termed themselves Mitches(Male bitches).

How cool is that? Gay.

2006-05-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

-[ Fears relived ]-

Nothing too traumatising or what occurred actually.
Just another one of my many inner struggles.

I'm wary of the love i feel.
Is it real permanent(more than a year) emotions of attachment or just real infatuation.
I dont like to hurt anyone.
Yet I would like to find out.

Maybe when you got thrown into a pool of needles a few times,
you become a mouse,
too scared to take a big step.
But I will try.
=)

2006-05-20T17:44:00.000+08:00

-[ You can't ]-

They can say

Anything they want to say

Try to break me down

But I will not allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me

And they can try

How to make me feel that I

Dont matter at all

But I refuse to falter in what I believe

Or lose faith in my dreams

Cause theres

Theres a light in me

That shines brightly

They can try

But they cant take that away from me

From me

Oh they

They can do

Anything they want to you

If you let them in

But they wont ever win

If you cling to your pride and just push them aside

See I

I have learned

Theres an inner peace I own

Something in my soul that they can not possess

So I wont be afraid and the darkness will fade

Cause theres

Theres light in me me

That shines brightly, yes

They can try

But they cant take that away from me

They cant take this Precious love

Ill always have inside me

Certainly the Lord will guide me where I need to go

They can say Anything they want to say

Try to break me down

But I wont face the ground

I will rise steadily sailing out of their reach

Although they do try

Hard to make me feel that I

Dont matter at all

But I refuse to fall

Tell me what I believe or lose faith in my dreams

Cause theres a light in me

That shines brightly, yes

They can try but they cant take that away from me

From me

2006-05-20T16:28:00.000+08:00

-[ Crazy, cool 19-20 May ]-

Anyway, before I start getting myself carried away in typing all that I wanna to say, here's a video I would really like to share with you. Came across it at a world famous fansite once, downloaded but lost it somehow. Finally found it on Youtube.com, it's seriously the best video tribute to her.

This is the Second best performace I've seen done for the song Baby One More Time. The Best being the one she done for DWAD(Dream Within A Dream) Tour. This lets me knows why I(Loser) Loves her so much. She sings live! rare!

Okay, first thing I watched Da Vinci's code with my classmates over at Cineleisure last night(1am show) and wow.. Nothing too disppointing, the plot was slightly different(and I still prefer the book version). It's was like the more important infomation was sieved out and portrayed on screen while the less important ones are eliminated(duh, of course). What I mean is that the story on screen now has loopholes and the sense of mysteries is really missing. I still like the onscreen version and it's really surprising still. Only now that you could easily guessed the identity of Sophie Neveu and the identity of real bad guy.

The other big flaw is the lack of explanation as to why Teabing could fly anywhere he wants without proper flight plans(required even when you have a private jet) and proper documents. Next is when the arrest is done, why is Sophie and Robert allowed to roam around in England freely when they are without passports and stuff. Actually these strange warps of events are rather sufficiently explained in the book. Seriously.

So I really suggest you to read the book if you havent, it's twice as exciting and intruiging. And yah, just a tip if you find the book quite a bore at some chapters, Skip the chapters on Silas or just skim through fast, because he doesnt cause much problem when u miss him out in the story and his part is really mundane and full of "huhs".

By the way, this year @@ Talenttime 2006 really s##ks and has several severe technical errors during the performances. The AVAC(sound and stage crew) crew was having some awkward running on and off stage moments during the performances, and the sudden screeches and overwhelming impact of some vocalist all due to poor sound management. Mic tests prior to the show apparently wasn't done good.

Yuhui is right, this talent time is more like a karaoke sessions for the people(esp true for the Minister) to enjoy on stage. Minus one tracks are raw and bass is weak and hollow and the singers seem to be tasked with the stupid responsibility to belt out all the parts as the lead singer and background singers(if any) alone. Meaning they are like weak, we seriously need background singers. LoL.

Firstly we have to blame the venue with its poor sound system(as far as i've seen, it's poor. and serves you right for compromising quality for rat cheap venue). Next we have to blame the seemingly inexperienced and noisy sound crew. I'm being critical, but if you want things to be good/better, expect comments and accept certain criticism.

The performances gave me headache when the teachers start to perform. I have to admit, I hail the female math teacher with great respect for the courage to continue to be up on stage when she missed the rhythm and tempo of the song almost completely. Mr Jose-- -an was freaky. Yes, freaky. Yes, he can sing in both Chinese and Japanese like a pro and dance like a hip-hop artiste ala Rain(Korean Singer) and 5566(Taiwan) or even better. But just seeing his Gggggggg_y actions just intoxicates you with helium and makes u squel like a tard. It's SCARY.

And you think the worse is over, Our Guest of Honour was a Minister(refer to www.cchocolatee.blogspot.com for more info on the night's performances) and I thought he was just giving another boring speech like every other Guest of Honours for any show (How I wish he did that). He started tracing the roots of Singapore from its budding state to it's rapidly growing state now, not only by talking. He started singing Xiao Bai Chuan(Chinese Song:Little White Boat) and Bangawan Solo(Malay Song) and even a tamil song~! He proceeded to sing a motivational song to our Singapore written 40years ago and next a duet with Mr Koh. Oh my goddness.

It's the first concert where I really felt overwhelmed, through the blasting mic volumes and the breath, i mean life-taking performances. I had to make my way out for fresh air halftime for survival because I wanna keep my life for my Davinci show after the talenttime.

Oh yeah, Thomas was super cool lah.. "(with muffled embarrassed awkward laughters)Can I make friends with you?"

Wahahaha~! Sh*t. I hope I wont die on Monday.

My blog of sercret messages.

2006-05-17T15:29:00.000+08:00

-[ Britney Freak ]-

Curious

Nice commercial for her frangrant and my fantasy, i say.

Performer - She is.

Emotional

Cry - to know that she's a human.

Walk this way- and see that she sings.

In the morning with Lee Ryan.

2006-05-16T23:03:00.000+08:00

-[ Laugh at Novelties ]-

This world is rather interesting, as people struggle to yet again contradict themselves. On one end of the stupidity spectrum, we are trying to define boundaries and draw links and relations to a ever-changing, non-constant big round sphere with scientists burying their heads into figuring out why the titanic sank, and how blue lasers store more infomation than conventional red lasers. Not forgetting we have philosophers comtemplating the complexities and simplicities of life, trying to inspire others when met with the same troubles that they(philosophers) have already faced. Oh yah, this behavior also leads to uprise of religions and the many packs of believers, whether true or not, I wont comment and dont know yet(wait for me to prove it then).

While on the other hand, we have the same people desperate to break out of the mould the world/societies stereotyped and be different/unique, like how we see humans still struggling to be "crowned" by the Guiness Book of Records for being the fastest, craziest or the stupid-est.

The former, being the acts of the insecure homo sapiens trying to see "light" and strength in face of adversities as we try to observe patterns of events, predict and avoid the unneccessary problems and trouble.

The latter are people sick of being yet another fleeting soul(that they think the former is) and trying to find a place to stand and shine with their own light(talents).

I'm not trying to say who's and which's better. Both have its assests and debilities and a mix of both is essentially the best. Actually no one is solely from one group, we just likely to be more inclined to one end of the continuum.

What I'm trying to suggest here is that science, laws and past experiences should be just guidelines in your life, not the rule(s) of thumb. We should make space for anomalies and acknowledge their prescence. The world doesnt have too much of a constant pattern but like the periodic table [that Mendeleev(a Russian chemist) have conjured up with in 1869], there are trends to events and their occurence probability. The biggest difference is that humans can and should choose their choice of actions in response to the situation unlike the elements(of the periodic table) which are mundane in their behaviour(fixed and definite response to certain chemicals).

Have an open mind.
Things do change and evolve.
Remember "The only constant is change." and you have the power to your fate.

On a lighter note, my very cute Grandma came over to stay with our family since my brother is away for business till 2nd June, leaving a vacant bed, so now she's sleeping on my bed while im taking my brother's. So to say of the elderly, or rather the experienced, what they speak of are valued treasure which light your path. Granny's suffering for senile dementia, and it has aggravated till she only know I'm her daughter's son, not the grandson. But she's still so loving and benevolent.

LOL, she was going to sleep earlier on but had no idea where to put her specs cause she confessed that she's afraid that kids(her grandchildren) would take her specs and play with them. The only problem, I'm the youngest in the family,and so i wonder: Would I playwith her glasses? Cute! She's forgotten again. :)

Before she dreams away,she told me she had a grandson(Daniel), who's my age(18) and is a very filial and good boy. She also reminded me as how she told him to not forget my meals and dont take too much junk food. It's cool for her to be talking to me like that, though she really forgoten that daniel is my cousin.

I dont dream for her to recall me, because i will love her the way she is. At least I hope she'll be happy with her stay here and the rest of her life. Don't wanna lose her. She is a woman who brought her families to its feet and displayed fair love among her children and grandchildren.

2006-05-15T23:13:00.000+08:00

-[ Responsibilities v.s Desires ]-

Time Check:11.13pm

Schedule Check: Sleeping.

Reality: Just aoken.

Just as much as I would want to be "normal", i.e. sleep at ten and wake up at six, my body is resisting the master. I was supposed to nap from 1830-1930 but, my body gave in to desires and just slept through now.

This is bad, bad, bad.

I can't finish Hanning's card by today by the looks of it. I've a SAT wordlist quiz and a Chemistry Practical Skill A: Planning. I chose to compromise Hanning's card for the other two, and instead spend this time typing these. Sorry ning. =X my bad...

It is always like that, I let my body get the best of time. Gotta have that greater sense of responsibility. Wake up!!!

Learning the truth about me.

2006-05-14T20:29:00.000+08:00

-[ It's Time. ]-

.. to move on.

All my entries recently, I've been rattling on and on about me being perfetc(again, i emphasized no spelling error.), me being only human, me against the world. Only now then i realised, i'm caught up with the unneccessary need for explanation for my actions and behaviours that are not accepted by my surroundings. I gotta emphasised, "There's gotta be more to life" than chasing down every temporary high.

Oh yah, I think I'm coming out of the little box i enclosed myself in. I took the first step yesterday. It was not easy. I just want to say, thank you, you know who you are. Words cannot express my gratitude. You show acceptance towards my anomalies and love me as a friend the way I am. Dark clouds have shifted out of side, and I'm starting to make my way boldly again. I need you help, and I'll help you. Life, is about interdepence, is about trust. I'm sorry for the days when I doubted you.

Anyway, it's Mother's Day today, every second Sunday of May. We must show our appreciation towards the load-carrier and the love-giver, not forgetting how she endured hardships and kept her silence when she knew she was right. She gave in many, many, many times to you. She shaped you in a way or two. She built you.

I didn't get anything for my mother, because i think i was too bogged down by certain events and i really didnt knew what my mother wants. She doesnt indulge much in worldly tangibles and she doesn't have a big dream, than to have her children grow up and be somebody useful. I only helped her cooked dinner today like every other evenings that I can free myself. I only kissed her upteen times to show how much i appreciate her. I only spent a little time each night to lie by her and talk to her to see if she's alright. She's one superwoman. Even when she's stricken with fever and flu attacks, she'll still take care of your daily needs and be there for you.

She talks to you, reason out with you and always there to listen to my side of the story. When I'm in the wrong, I'm made to know this fact and be responsible to my actions. Unconditional Love, i call these. She's so perfect even at those times when she compromised my father's unforgivable(unforgivable) behaviours.

She's investing lots of time, effort, money and her life into us. I only wish one day, and soon, that I'll be able to fund my parents to travel around the world and have fun. And I will make time to go with them. Cause we're a family. Though I must say, we are much like a tradional Asian family. Family bonds may be strong, but never close. We dont share too much personal stuff.

I only wish, too, that my wife and children would possess her characteristics and hold on to it, amidst this misty and misleading.

Anything you hate about me, direct it at me, Never my family.

The females in my family(my Sister and Mother) said in many times, "Offend someone, not the Beh(s)". =) In case you're unaware of, my Surname is Beh.

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers in this world.

2006-05-13T01:20:00.000+08:00

-[Saint Willy]-

Sounds weird.
I can never be that.
I wonder how people can preach about the need to be rational and mature for every issue and decision we make.
Sounds so "un-humanly".
Don't we ever realised we are humans made of flesh and bone, something God(s) aren't made of. And we make mistakes even when we grow old, just like a toddler falling helplessly when making his/her first few steps.

I'm not perfect.

Kent, Sorry if i disappointed you in a way or two, big or small.
Sorry Cheng for my unreasonable personality at times.
Sorry PeiLi cause it seems like i'm making use of you.
Sorry friends if i actually shock you, broke out of the mould you fixed me in.
Somewhere in time, you should start to look at me in different likes.

I'm much like a kaleidoscope, just that I'm not one that generates awesome and colourful pictures.
It's a great idea when we always keep trying to become better, and better.
But realised we're not good in everything, not to say everytime.

Just to let you know,
for everything I do,
I'll do it and give it my best, as of what im capable of at that point of time.
Meaning, i wont launch myself fulling into one thing at a time, i have more than one pivots lay on me,
and i have to make my choices.

I'm sorry Miss L(just to protect you/me from any lawsuits), if im not performing up to your expectations.
I'll do my best for my A's whatever i'm allowed to do.
I'm not after the best.
Just my best.
I wasnt the best all the time when i was back in secondary school.
I was always the slightly above average kid.
Somehow the words you say have very sarcastic and negative connotations that hurt not only me, but quite some people.
I dont blame you, really.
You are really patient, from the way you tutor the everybody-want-to-stangle XY.
At least, I still and always respect you.

So to say. I'll do my best.

In the garden of love.

2006-05-12T16:03:00.000+08:00

-[ Confessions of a Broken Heart ]-

I'm devastated today.
I can't find anyone to walk this path with me today.
Thank goodness, i know it's only today.
Or is it not?

Forced to be alone when im lonely.
God.
Thank goodness I'm used to this.

These are the confessions of a broken heart.

p.s.Cheng Wai is right,
I'm the kinda man that would most easily and most "impactful-ly" hurt a woman. =)

2006-05-12T14:54:00.000+08:00

-[ Just Amazing Voices ]-

Be overwhelmed and conquered by some of the world's most amazing and captivating voices in the world.
Some of which took over me and gives me strength. =)

Meet Bumac and dont underestimate him. =)

A groovy song that gets you tapping you feet while being awe-d at the same time.
Lady Marmalade by Pink, Lil' Kim, Mya, Christina Aguilera and Patti Labelle.

Beyonce's got me lost for words. Be touched by
Dangerously in Love.

Wow Mariah.
We Belong Together/Fly like a bird Medly.

Here's the Best Selling Female Recording of All times reminding you how she make her mark.
Bow down for Mariah Carey

Maybe because of this songs, your words will never have an impact on me negatively.
Christina Aguilera. shed tears.

All hail to Music.

2006-05-12T00:23:00.000+08:00

-[ Strip me ]-

Hey. This shall be the day Episode 2 officially unfolds, although it has surfaced since 8th May 06.
........Project Stripped.
What I meant is not physically denuded or anything too sexually connotated. This is truly inspired by that true star of the new times, Christina Aguilera's Stripped album released by BMG back in 2002. It's the album that stayed spinning in my discman, computer, hi-fi system for the longest consecutive period of time: Six months, rather amazing for one album alone. It beings loads of positives messages hidden among the songs, lyrics and the advesities portrayed by the lyrics. It has certainly changed my life and shaped in positively. Made me a better man.

The picture for my blogskin may suggest otherwise, but I guess that's the ways things are going to be. This aint no porn, this is what sexy truly means to me.

Sexy: to have some form of coverage/exposure over a naked man/woman, and always not forgetting to leave passers-by and viewers room for imagination, uncontrolled desires for more and worshipping of that man/woman. =)

It's about being undressed to the barenakedness till you see me the way I see myself when I'm alone. and also about being true to me, being true to you. It's without pretense, no menbrane, no separation.

The most true me.

This episode, and so are that of my previous works, will be/was me spilling all the shit and truth that I see with my not-too-big-not-too-small eyes. It'll allow me to slot in numerous hidden messages which is to be stay hidden.

Actually I initially decided on the theme "Back to Basics" having the notion of returning back to when things/people were innocent, genuine and truly care for you. But sad to say, I couldn't find the resources I need to satisfy me. =X So After much thought and reconsidering, I chose "Stripped". Some people blog for fame, some blog to confide in the cavities of the worldwide-web, while some seek to be noticed. Me?

I just want to make my way through my life. There will be times that I'll be angry, frustrated and f-up. I guess I could use the energy more positively in writing without angst instead of venting my anger on another poor soul. (Speaking of that, I gotta apologise to kent, thomas, cheng and other people in S19 that I sorta "attituded". If you didnt realised, then eh. im good or so to say. HAHA)

There will be moments when I have to shed tears, yeah. I'm not a man, I'm just a being brimmed with human emotions. Physically, or in front of you, I might not display it. But hey, I can talk about them here just the way i like it. Just some statistics you should pay attention to, what you are about to see bears no mistake: 10 out of 9 men who laugh frequently or known to have a jovial personality are not always truly happy. I mean it takes no idiot to know no one is not always happy 24/7 right?

Memories, there will be, that I'll be overwhelmed with gratitude and apologies. These are the golden times I never want to forget. That's why I blog about them, to serve as a self-reminder that God is kind and fair.

Rest assured, i'm no angry teen.

I'm just a voice to be heard.

2006-05-11T23:49:00.000+08:00

adapted from Christina Aguilera Stripped(2002 BMG)

..Waited a long time for this, feels right now.
...Allow me to introduce myself, want you to come a little closer.
....I'd like you to get to know me a little better,
.....Meet the right me

......Sorry you can't define me, sorry I break the mould.
.......Sorry that I speak my mind, sorry dont do what I'm told.
........Sorry if I don't fake it, sorry I come too real.
.........I will never hide what I really feel, no way oh.

.........So here it is,

..........No hype, no glass, no pretense.

...........Just me...

............Stripped.

______________________________________

___________Stripped Intro

__________________________________________________________

2006-05-05T22:49:00.000+08:00

==============================

Sho happy cans?

hehe, after a long week, finally reach weekend le, so tired can?

So sad de, no one message(yup) my aching back leh.. No dearie so pathetic de can?

LoL.. sorry i just cant continue typing like this.. I think i might end my life if i did. It was no doubt inspired by kc's blog but there's no ill intentions. Hope noone will take the above in offence though. =) It just that people keep saying they exercise "bad" english and their entries as like those of a typical gal's capability.

Whatever the h*ll lah, as long as they enjoy it, nothing you say matters loh. Basically for me, whatever thing that I do, I'll just enjoy it and carry it off in my own way loh. No matter what you say, also wont bother me as much. Seriously, if anyone have so much angst in them to go around dissing people, why not do it elsewhere?

Is pissing on another's face neccessary? Come on, let all get a life and live your life to the fullest. Care so much what kc do in their life and make so much comments, send hate mails and threaten them, Your life so boliao de arh? LoL

Anyway, language is but a mean of broadcasting of one's ideas and opinions. And from places to places, the same language may vary. Not neccessary is Singlish(English + Chinese Dialects and other Singapore official languages) bad, cause they are what made us who we are. =)

We should no doubt try to improve our language standard lah.. But since standards are set by humans, humans get to choose to follow them or not loh. Like it or not, you can try sue me loh. hahaha.. =)

But quite cool leh, such high "readership" for a newly set up blog. Eh.. doesn't bother me also.

Sorry for the "broken" English im using, but it's just me. Tired, sick(due to JieSheng spreading the virus) to comtemplate any deep and "inspiring" message i want to bring across.

Wish me luck in recovering~!

i want to change blogskin!

2006-05-05T22:29:00.000+08:00

==============================

After a long wait...

I've finally found a Singapore TV drama serial that gets me glued to it. Probably due to it's strong cast of interesting people and the intensity in the emotions portrayed in the show. Only the sixth episode, i think so, and im actually going "wow.. omgoodness, u serious"! yup yup

Oh yah, too engrossed that I actually missed out the title of the show: Women of times.
Essentially it's a show about the Jin Le company run by the Jia family, the struggles for power and play, and the nasty and beautiful relationships between the people.

The uptight waves of troubles and climaxes just keeps hurling themselves at you, and although it's quite mundane after some time, they still manage to surprise you with twists that break out of the typical drama plot mould.

I was especially shocked but pleasantly surprised by Fann Wong portrayal as Xiyi. Her acting wow. wow. wow. The emotions she portayed: Sadness, lost, strength, determination were all adequately displayed and succeeded in stirring up feelings in the audience's heart. LoL. Cool.

Her tears were natural as like those of precipitation, you could taste the despair she's trying to show. Wow~!

Cant wait for more~!

hahaha.. lack of vocab lah.. this is a short update of nothings.
=)

2006-05-04T01:02:00.000+08:00

==============================

On the May 4th 2006, 2 minutes and 3 seconds after 1am, the time and date will be 01.02.03.04.05.06.

This happens only onve every 1000 years and we are luck to witness this.

Chill out and have fun peeps.

Will Singapore ever understand the meaning of holidays and weekends one day?

2006-05-03T16:27:00.000+08:00

==============================

Not as Great.

I'm no great *ahem* to have a blog set up in less than 20 days, welcome a great 3k of visitors by the third day and have threads even in forums of hardwarezone.com. I think less than a thousand clicks have been made on my blog loh.[ LoL.. lousy gauge that's based on nothing. =) ]

Still, I'm having hell loads of fun. For I guess that one that will learn most about me, is me.

But I've got juicy pictures to share~! My dear dear and I. LOL~~~!!!! Someone save me.~!

I didnt blur the picture or anything, just that i think one of the BBIans(correction: not yuhui) was too excited to snap the picture that she fumbled a little too much. and Shi Qi and I weren't the only ones there as the picture supposed, there were tons of others. We were at Fullerton Hotel, BBI just stopped over to mess around with the kois in the basement pond and stone a bit during Christmass Celebration on 18dec2005. So sian, i wish i could blog more gayly. =Z WahHAhaha~!

Did i mentioned~!?

It's PeiLi's birthday on this very special 3rd of May. She turns 17 and apparently she's having fun and loving every minute of it. What more can I do but to pay a tribute to her and showned how much she has grown?

Moulted out of her fats into a swelte and hot body, I cant congratulate enough but to show you a picture of her in a very revealing outfit.

Cant wait?

Scroll down~!

2006-05-03T16:03:00.000+08:00

==============================

highlight to see, cause i've changed blogskin, but dont want to edit my posts.

Back to basics.

Realised i lost track of my own soul recently.

Been churned and messed up in this world by this world.

Forgotten my aims, neglected my purposes.

What made me realised: me getting all worked up over small things.

Back to basics,

return to me.

Back to where

I wanna be.

Some say I do reckless things, some say I dont work hard enough.

I guess whatever you say is based on whatever you judged upon,

and certainly your kind of criteria dont work for me.

I cant stop anyone from judging me or anything, and i wont.

You are who you are, no matter how you choose your own life.

Let me choose mine.

I do try to listen and change, for the better,

while still remaining me.

But if i listen to all of your every complains and dissatisfaction with moi,

make the "neccessary" changes, to be a "better man"

I would have long be perfect.

That's no where i wanna be.

Im imperfect.

perfetc.

Perfetc.

Living my world, my rules.

Thinking for you, i try my best.

Giving my all everyday.

Gonna stand tall,

gotta be free.

Just that the wild ocean whale that lives in me.

There are times when i need thee,

but there are times that you aint there.

Not to blame,

blame to Life.

There are times that i need peace,

but time and time,

peace lies far.

Savouring wine in a finely tuned glass,

I living my life laughing at hyennas,

crying like shores,

thinking like the wise sage,

but acting like a fool.

Realised,

all i need is none.

Transient,

Life is.

Understand,

humans cant.

Accept me,

perfetc.

2006-04-26T00:01:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: April 26

You lucked out the the skills to succeed in almost any arena.Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top.You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate.Your ability to adapt to almost any situation is part of what's going to make you a success.
Your strength: Your attention to detail
Your weakness: You can be a little too proud of your successes
Your power color: Turquoise
Your power symbol: Arrow pointing up
Your power month: August

rather true.. all the way up to power colour, i would say it's accurate!

2006-04-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

==============================

My last few minutes..

My last moments being a seventeen year old guy. Every "one" that i get annually, i treat it as a target for the level of maturity I've to attained. Rather intangible and subjective though.

Immunity to criticism is probably this past year's most evident "skill" that I've acquired. From being claimed to be the third party to be judged by friends who are skeptical about you(inevitable, especially being a s*ckor that I am) to being devalued by even strangers, I've gone immuned. If what they say is true, I would have forever hold my peace and never be here. Just a piece of advice for those who are still trying to get use to criticism: No matter how hard you try, you cant satisfy everyone.

Maybe because of the exact same quote, I dont try to be extremely nice or make an extra effort to be in favour of anyone, Just be myself in my way. Hold truth to my path, and though in an abyss, I'm walking with faith because I know i have friends who support me.=)

Recollecting of what I've faced with this year, of which i wont mention online as they're personal, I think it hasn't exactly been a wonderful year. Still I've enjoyed every minute of being seventeen. I hadn't been exactly a good friend to everyone in my life, I've been neglecting a lot of people. But I know i'm on my way to light.

More confidence and much more composed in facing shocking and unexpected situations. Life is still as wild as a roller coaster ride like ever. I've been thinking, whether I should share something with someone, for about 2 to 3 months, but i think im more or less decided. =)

In the aspect of love, it's rather full of pitfalls and emptiness. LoL.. But I do see a cute girl in the J1 cohort. Miss Long shorts. =P

I believe for every heart that whispers in the dark,

there's a ray of light somewhere shining through.

It was sink,

or swim,

when the tide came in

I found myself when i found you.

I found the closest thing next to heaven.

Wanna sing it to you. Will I get that chance?

Spent the last ticklings of me being seventeen recalling, repenting and reaffirming.

I must thank all those who supported perfetcLite.blogspot in reading in, and encouraging me.

I also extend my gratitude to all of the pillars of strength that stood by me in this past year, and those who stood by me through much longer and ardous roads.

I pray for the best for Simin, Kent, TongLoong in tomorrow's Talentime semis.

Remember: Just be your best. :)

God bless!

I pray for my best under S19's clutches.....

2006-04-22T13:26:00.000+08:00

==============================

Work Work....

Finally endured a week of stress and pressure, not explaining much as to why though. Hmm.. Yesterday(Friday), was the worse: Napha Test!

I know in my heart my failing event of Standing Broad Jump, And no matter how intimidating pull ups are, they're no match for SMJ's horror. LoL.. Nah, it's just a case of bad technique and fear of letting myself go. I'll keep on practising though. Pull ups were the funniest, everyone(not everyone) was cheating. You just keep pulling, no matter what, and somewhere in time you'll feel Jie Sheng's hand on your back, in an attempt to set u straight and free from swaying, but in fact, was pushing you up. Then there's Thomas jumping, and stretching in front of the teacher trying to cover the crime.

What I did was worse, I kicked the wall and everything in sight, that includes the bench right at my foot, creating a big bang. LoL! Thomas said Mr Ng CT(Teacher in charge of the Pull Ups Station) failed to hide his grin when he heard that noise, but still pretended dumb.

SBJ was really normal this year, not that frightening anymore.. And thanks to Dorae(who was the Data Logger for my class), helped me faked a C. =) Not to mention, she helped a lot more poor souls too. =)

Sit and Reach was the only breeze i encountered all these years. 59cm, yeah~! Xuan Yu was like rubber lah, he stretched to reach the limit of 63, it was O.O for all of us.

Ran the Shuttle Run at 9.7s, cool cool cool. lol, dont know if it's my max, but as long as it's A. Who cares. Anyway, thank goodness we ran shuttle run at the track, i might have slipped and fall if we were doing in on concrete ground, cant find any shoes in my home that offer good grip.

Sit Ups, managed a 46, though they were not of standard ones. only 3/4 to recovery position, i came up le. Wee~!

2.4!!!! OMG.. Once the whistle(i actually i forgot what was the cue) went off, I started dashing. And yesh, this means im at the wrong pace. Barely halfway through my first round, i realised i couldnt make it at this speed for six rounds. And I'm supposed to accompany kent. Shit, where's Kent!?!?!? I dont dare to look back, just reduce my speed and pace it around there. Still I was running at 5:30 for my third run, that makes 1:50s per round, which means I'll get my B if i keep going at this pace.

But practically I was alone lah, then from like the second or the third round, i was together with another stranger and sorta kept my spirits up because i felt so "un'cast-away'" anymore. He sped off eventually, darn! LOL. After which, no one passed me to join up with me but instead, past me to pass me, I was like eh.. "someone behind??? come join me leh!!" i just had to keep going.

but my negativity just keeps striking. "wah two more rounds leh, slow down lah", "you're tired, give up, run another day when you're more fresh and ready lah", "you'll not make it under 11:50 de, stop for a while, walk lah.", What prevented me for pulling out or stopping for a rest was my friends at the edge of the track. Every half a round, i get motivational call-outs from my friends telling me to jia you, counting down for me and dismissed the inner demons from successfully stopping me. Thanks to Shu Zhen, Yun Jia, Sophie, and Denise and those whom i failed to recall. =) Wee, First time for my life, just kept pacing at the same speed, going ALONE, and i realised something I just kept running, never check my stop watch at all. haha..! But sians, when i completed my run, i took a couple of steps and then looked at my stop watch, clocked it and it was at 12.05, disappointed though i was running at one of my max already. Was like: huh.. hmm.. nvm loh.. haha!

Didnt hold much hopes but when the official timing was released, I was practically riding a cloud when i heard Yun Jie announced Willy:11:39!!!! WeEEeEeeee!!! Not all surprising for many people, but a morale booster for me~! lalala~!

So determined for the run for the first time, combated myself into saying "4 rounds left, good timing for first two rounds" instead of "sh*t, 4 more rounds ahhhhhhhh". Chose to view the glass as half filled then half empty. A lil proud of myself lah.

And after the run, which was the last item of the day, i just went around lying down and stretching and cooling down. So Shuang! weee.. I felt more energetic after the run, although somehow I caught a flu. Haha.. So happy. However, not long after, I felt all moody again, mind processing lots of things that have and have yet to happen. rather stress and worn out mentally. Then kena "cordially invited" by simin to join her and kent at the kBox. hehe.. Think they too tired bah, keep singing until 12+ still no conclusion. So I advised them to stop the night and make the decision tomorrow(which essentially today). I dont know how things went though, shall find out when i meet kent and cheng in half an hour's time. Speaking of which, im zoning out of here, running late.

Will update more when i get home and free this weekend.

bewilderment got the best of me.

2006-04-17T21:10:00.000+08:00

==============================

Truly Miles From A Smile

Taking time off my Assignment-choinging to update a little about myself to myself. This past week, I've not been idling all too much. Been dealing with some interpersonal relationship matters, working out solutions to some problems and the usual trying-to-catch-up-with-the-tutorials lifestyle.

Exhausted as expected, there will still be no big breaks for me. I'm also currently fighting some inner demons, or rather i would say, some inner thoughts on relationships. Started to think whether there will be this day when I go running to my close friend, anyone in general, crying over spilled milk between me and my girl. It made me ponder further as to whether such girls would even appear or would they not.

Besides these boy-girl-relationships worries, there's still the study doubt. Can I make it? I seemed to be on track to many people but deep in my heart, I know I'm way behind time. And I better do something about it.

I guess they're just feelings of insecurity that are really uneccessary, but still there exist a need to curb them. How is it possible, you may want to ask? For me, it's through a series of self-assurance and more essentially, talking to my friends, directly or indirectly, to get some advices and directions. Humans are such weak creatures that one's strength cannot support oneself through one's whole life. We depend on the use of external strength and others as pillars of emitional support. Nothing wrong with it though, people who couped up too much are the real sick people. Because they get so emotionally unstable that they start/continue to do stupid things.

What I'm trying to say is that, if you have a problem(s), a serious one, and you have no solutions to it(them), maybe it's time to turn to a friend or a family member. We apparently forgotten the basic notion that we only get to live a few pathetic decades(more than sufficient though, I'm just not particularly happy about our relative lifespan compared to that of Earth's) and we wont be able to make all the mistakes and (quite impossibly) learn from all the mistakes we make.

Sometimes, it's easier to learn from others because you do get clearer picture of the whole situation. More often than not, your friends would have met with problems you never had before, what not would it be, to just consult his/her opinions and learn from the considerations s/he taken and the impact of his/her actions. To put it simply, we dont live long enough to experience all sorts of problems, learn from each other.

hmm, What I've said shouldn't be the first time you're reading them, but the thing is, do you remember it?

Another basic rule of thumb is that Humans are nothing without problems around. We meet with problems day in, day out, every second, every time we make a turn round a corner. Problems are everywhere. They're the indispensable shaping tool of one's character and maturity.

We should not be seeking to eradicate the roots of problems, because without problems, there exist no human. They will be around, whether you like it or not. So better get use to it. Fight them, challenge them and never give up. Through a problem, do you grow most.

If you have not noticed, the root to all problems is you. It is your interaction with the nature, other homo sapiens, animals, machines that problem arises. It is when you sit down and think through ya life, do you find problems.

I like problems actually. They irritate me, but whenever you triumph over one of them, you get extremely elated.

Sexy girls.

I wanna make my wishes soon. World peace!

2006-04-09T03:07:00.000+08:00

Stupid Acts :)

`free and easy

2006-04-08T21:08:00.000+08:00

==============================

True Update

This 21 days, I've been thinking a lot.Thinking about nothing as well, it's not easy living out my dreams and to live in reality. It's one of those periods whereby I find expressing myself a job too hard to take on. That is why i didnt participate really actively in the debate held during one of the GP lessons. Cant speak well, stutter, cant even understand the situation, what can i voice out? LoL

It's been quite a while since I'm intimately in a real relationship. By right, I should feel a sense of loneliness, but instead I'm feeling a state of relieve. Maybe it's because I have no need to be held with so much responsibility for someone's emotional state and happiness. But then again, I seem to be harming quite a few around me in my daily life. I agree to what Tong said which i interpret as: being a nice guy hurt those around you twice as much as being a jerk.

I also understand that the more you dont want to hurt someone, the more that u hold back your true emotions, the more likely are you to hurt the other party. Oh well.. hmmm.. yah.. As you grow older, the world dims and complicates. Friendship is not about relationships between friends anymore. At least for most cases, it is so.

Hmm, what should I talk about next...? okay, there's the gang of crazees from S19: From JS to Yong Kian, eight of us altogether. (LoL.. lazy to list them down lah.. haha) Someone identified that although we are always together, there still exists sub groupings within the gang for the most obvious examples JS and Cheng tends to stick together like Willy and Kent does. hmm.. while some are more neglected, more solo. I dont know how to put it.

But for me, it's inevitable. The mentality of some individuals will be: Such a big group, so easily left out in jokes and activites, should i find someone to cling onto slightly more?

If u do get what i'm trying to say, ya.. hmm. I dont know what I can do to help as well. Im already starting to find it hard to hold my temper back and in addition, im bad with friendships. But the good thing is, not all is bad about the group. There are people who are starting to open up more, like nichk who starred in a movie clip in which the primary plot was devised by him. There's also yong kian who is getting sharper and more evil with his words. =).. But seriously, if we do not do something about it, we might end up as happy tree friends.(www.happytreefriends.com) all fun, no good ending. LoL.. What im saying is not that when X has a problem, he has to tell the whole gang. It's not easy for one to speak about his/her problems to such a big group. WHat I'm trying to bring across is that, we should remove the chasm and mix around more like one big group when we are hanging out. yah.

ps. I've remove all pop ups and alerts le bah, so if you're viewing pictures, you can click on them and return back to the Update page more easily. Do click on the pictures hor, cause it's really unclear in their current state.

Unleash the heal of the Arena.

2006-04-08T17:20:00.000+08:00

==============================

Life in JJ

As you scroll, you may want to ponder on exactly what kind of life do i lead in JJ.

The class of Nineteen.

As we sweat and tire, we support and brighten each other.
What more can I ask for?

On our way to Little India to become little indians.. O.o
Cheers Anyway!!

The "Front Row Guys" are depesperately trying to get the attention of the camera at the back of the picture, evoking a purple aura of "i cant stand myself anymore"

Gals of Nineteen!! They looked kinda evil though.... muahahahaa~!

After a full meal at KFC, it's time for a nap.. =)

Look who's spotted with a flowery butt! Mr Kent

time for a rest....

JJ is nothing but nineteen...

2006-04-08T13:41:00.000+08:00

==============================

O5S19 BBQ on 25/03/06

The ultimate attempt to get rid of thomas appearing in a picture,
He was supposed to be in the front of the picture, but then in the blink of an eye, all others turned around to face camera 2 and snapped it down!
what sad it he's still in the background!

Great games of Twister we enjoyed before and during the BBQ.
the thing is, dont play together with Thomas and Willy, matters will get messy. =]

Family portrait: Clockwise from top left: Grandma, Grandpa, Grandson, Mother.

A rare photo of the last alive Emporer and his concubines,
just not sure why Concubine Choo appeared so spastic.

We welcome a new classmate, Jin Yi, into our class this year. To the right, stands Jie Sheng and Lau Cheng.

And you thought they were good friends in the above picture.

Lynn in "I'm not the only one with spastic look"

A very nice picture of Zhe Mei and Y^3,
spoilt by the tee-yien-lookalike-david in the background.

...having fun but working hard.

2006-04-08T13:06:00.000+08:00

==============================

Bonjour!

guess who's back, back again, Willy's back, back for more!

im back! im back! im back..!

Okay, after a 20 days "hiatus", im coming back for more! Actually what really got me to overcome my inertia to start blogging is to see a passer-by's tag on my blog, it goes ": hi... i happen to see your blog by chance.. i like your char... so go for it... jiayou( in whatever you do )".

Pleasing comment, i guess, wonder who it could be. Probably someone i know? I'll never find out probably.

Okay, think i should explain a lil. I took a break from blogging because i couldnt find anytime to commit to other things besides studies for a while. It was all tutorials, assignments, test, tutorials, revision exercises, assignments and tests and this and that and this. T.T. I'm getting so fixated on Mathematics, Chemistry and Physics, and im sucked super dry. but i think, things are going easy for once, so i'll take this opportunity to blog! It'll be in no time that i'll get back, dwelling in books and tutorials again!

Anyway, just a brief catch up coming up on what activities i failed to blog on because of the hiatus. I dont think i have the perseverence to do full reviews.. LoL.

The most prominent one, i guess, would be the barbeque JJ05S19 had on the 25th of March, where i guess it's one of the highest turn-up of the class itself. >20/25. quite amazing, Even Nicho came back from Mars to join us, and Angeline had the Teen titans scene held up to grace the occasion. (because i think she looks and acts like Ravern from Teen Titans). The teachers all pon/missed the event though, we should really demand for MC or parents' letter to officially excuse them for the bbq.

It was fun and rather successful even though the whole event did not see through a long period of planning. The idea, plans and everything drawn up in a week, and food was quite rushed out too. Kent got his dad to prepare the All Famous Soon's Family Chicken Wings. Then the others went down to Giant IMM to get the rest of the food, (there's Cheng, JS, Dorae, Lynn and me!) Quite fun and it makes u hail your mum for doing the grocery for the family. It's not an easy task! haha.What wasn't really good was that we had it at peiyin's apartment's bbq pit, which restricts the time allowed for us to linger on, leaving behind tons of foods! We got to leave by 12am, oh man!

Oh anyway, I left earlier than most of them to make it to yuhui's house to celebrate her dad's birthday! Both her mum and dad were out for a dinner, so everyone gathered at her house first and waited for her parents to return. I guess i was getting a little groggy and crazy from the alcohol i had over at the bbq, so i started cracking very stupid jokes that i find rather amusing, had quite some good laughs over them. Especially the part where we,(Eileen, Me, Jie Ying and ShiQi and Louie) was havings a few rounds of Bridge.

Darn funny to see Qi and Louie launch into a debate on 10-4s and 9-4s after i asked some questions. It is just a simple game! lalala.. okay.. getting drained, dont know what else happened in my life. hmm..

So i'll post up the pictures next.

I'm learning how to breathe.

2006-03-18T21:44:00.000+08:00

==============================

Marina Geishas 19

I think the turn up for the outing that day was about 17/25 with the presence of two very special teachers, Ms Lang and Ms Eleen Tan. It was a day out at Marina for steamboat, crazy food games, and a late-night movie, Memoirs of a Geisha. And not to forget, the cab trip groupies. Blogged about this event during January or February 2006, just thought pictures speaks louder. But I realised I forgotten to include my own face. Oh well, I think i left out some faces as well, but yah, it was not on purpose. I mean, it's not like i left out the Top Five when they werent there in the first place.